You're Not The Only One With Secrets
by iamkellylouise
Summary: "Sensitivity, I like that in a stranger" Meredith smirked, she turned around to face the man and stood shock still. "Wouldn't say I was a stranger huh Mrs Sloan?" AU Mer/Mark, set in 2x18. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 1_

_~x~_

"Invasive non-cell with a history of COPD. That guy's pretty much a goner, huh?"

"Sensitivity, I like that in a stranger" Meredith smirked, she turned around to face the man and stood shock still.

"Wouldn't say I was a stranger huh Mrs Sloan?"

"Don't call me that" she reprimanded "Why are you here?" she asked curiously.

"Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town"

"You get used to it" Meredith shrugged.

"Makes me wanna stay in bed all day"

"You've been here 5 minutes and you're already talking about bed, nothing changes"

"Subtle has never been my strong suit. So….do you ever go out with co-workers?"

"I make it a rule not to"

"Then I am so glad I don't work here"

"Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?"

"Would it be so wrong to hit on my own wife?" he smirked getting close to her, he took her fingers in his and played with them softly, she glanced down briefly and sighed heavily, the next thing she knew Mark was on the floor bleeding, she looked up to see Derek Shepherd shaking his hand in pain.

"What the hell was that?" she exclaimed.

"That, was Mark"

"Oh my god" Meredith gasped.

Mark clambered up from the floor clutching his face "I see you've met my wife"

A resounding "YOUR WHAT?" came from Derek and Addison, who had been watching the scene unfold.

"I am not your wife" Meredith said firmly.

"The 'Certificate of Marriage' I have in my suitcase proves otherwise" he smirked.

"I think we need to talk" a voice bellowed from behind them, they turned around to see the Chief standing with his arms crossed angrily against his chest.

"Yes, I think we do" Derek said through gritted teeth.

~x~

The four doctors followed the Chief into the conference room, Meredith grabbed ice-packs for Derek and a suture kit for Mark. Derek sat down in one of the chairs, Addison sat a few seats away from him, Mark sat on the table while Meredith stood in between his legs cleaning his wound, the Chief paced the room angrily.

"Punching out people on my surgical floor! My head of Neurosurgery punching out people on my surgical floor!" The Chief shouted.

"Put the ice pack on your hand" Addison said to Derek.

"My hand is fine!" Derek snapped.

"Put the damn ice on your 2 million dollar a year hand! Now, would someone tell me what the hell happened?" the Chief said angrily "Who are you?" he said looking over at Mark.

"Dr Mark Sloan, pleasure to meet you"

"I hate to say I can't reciprocate that pleasure, not until I know what the hell is going on, Addison, you go"

"He and Derek used to work together back in New York, and um, they ah, we were all close friends, until, Derek found us, in bed together" she sighed, a look of pure shame washing over her face.

The Chief paused and turned to Derek "You put your weight behind it?"

"Yes sir"

"Well alright then. I still don't know how you come into this Meredith"

"Yes Meredith, how do you come into this?" Derek asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh my god" Mark gasped "Your Derek's lusty intern! Heard about you all the way back in New York. You're famous" Mark said smiling playfully at Meredith.

"Hmm, well I heard about you all the way here in Seattle so I guess we have a lot in common"

"We're the dirty mistresses"

"Yes, I suppose we are, although technically, you could call us adulterous whores, you cheated on me?" she mocked putting her hands on her hips.

"You cheated on me" he laughed "If you hadn't have disappeared off the face of the earth we could have gotten an annulment but no you had to run off without leaving a number and now we have to get a divorce" he smirked.

"Oh I'm sorry, you can keep the wedding video and I'll keep the pictures" she giggled "Anyway, we couldn't have gotten an annulment"

"Why not?" he frowned.

"Because to get an annulment you're not allowed to 'consummate' the marriage" she whispered.

"Oh, well, we certainly did a lot of that" he smirked, they both locked eyes and burst out laughing, losing control of their breathing, as it slowed down they looked at each other both biting back another laugh.

"Ok seriously, what the hell is going on!" Addison exclaimed.

"Remember that trip I took to Vegas about 3 years ago?" Mark asked.

"Erm, yeah, I guess" Addison stuttered.

"Well Meredith here was there with her friend, wait, what was her name Die?"

"Ah, Sadie, also known as Die, I was Death, we have serious problems" Meredith chuckled "The adventures of Death and Die stay locked away in the back of my mind _never _to be spoken of again"

"Ah yes, Death and Die" Mark laughed "Anyway I met Death and Die, we all got very drunk and one thing led to another and we were at the The Little White Chapel being married by someone dressed as Elvis"

"I'll never get my head around the fact that they let people as drunk as we were get married, drunk is probably an understatement" Meredith laughed.

"Yeah, I can only remember it because of the video, the rest is a little, hazy"

"Wait, so your telling me that you had a drunken wedding in Vegas?" the Chief exclaimed "Meredith what were you thinking? Your mother…."

"Would be very disappointed, I know Chief but if you remember my mother had just been admitted to a home because of her Alzheimer's, I wasn't exactly feeling like myself, I just wanted a little fun, ok so I had too much fun but fun all the same"

"Ellis would have never have gotten drunk in Vegas but you do remind me of her, you know what you want and you'll try your hardest to get it, you wanted fun so you went out and got it" the Chief smirked.

"Damn straight" Meredith muttered.

The Chief groaned as his pager bleeped "Can I trust you to be in a room alone without hitting each other?"

The four doctors nodded, the Chief gave them one last worrying glance before he left the room.

"Hey! Do you still have your ring?" Meredith asked curiously, he pulled out his wallet and opened the coin pouch, he took out a bright blue plastic ring that had 'Caesars Palace' written around the band "Where's yours?" he smirked.

"In my bedside table, thought it was appropriate _considering_" she grinned.

"I can't believe you Meredith, you're such a hypocrite!" Derek exclaimed.

"It's hardly the same Derek! I had a drunken night in Vegas you've been married for nearly 12 years! It's not like me and Mark were in love or anything, we were just having fun! I was young and stupid and irresponsible, things happen. You however have no excuse!"

"I guess I should've known something like this would've happened to you Mark" Addison sighed "He has quite a reputation Meredith"

"Oh, I know, he told me" Meredith smirked "Anyway, we should get onto those divorce lawyers _honey_"

"Oh but _sweetie_ we should try and work it out"

"But we can't _baby_, we screw around like whores on tequila"

"Still a tequila girl hey?" he laughed "I would've thought you'd have learnt your lesson"

"I learnt from the best manwhore in America, now seriously, we should go before the Shepherds have embolism's" she smirked, she took Mark's hand and pulled him from the room, only to be greeted by Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex.

"I think you have some explaining to do Dr Grey" Cristina smirked.

"Ok, I'm going to do this once and only once so listen up" Meredith sighed "I met Mark 3 years ago in Vegas, we got drunk, we got married, I left before getting his number and we haven't seen each other since, it turns out in some weird twist of fate that he's the guy who slept with Addison, and was Derek's best friend"

"Wow" Izzie gasped "Can't really blame her can you" she muttered into Cristina's ear.

"No, not really" Cristina said looking him up and down.

"So, what happens now?" George stuttered.

"We're going to call our lawyers and get a divorce, but not before we fix your face, lets get you to x-ray hubby" she said patting his chest.

"Yes dear" he smirked.

~x~

"So, why are you really here Mark?" Meredith asked as they looked over his x-rays.

"I love her" he sighed.

"You want to take her back to New York" she stated.

"I do, I screwed up Meredith, look Derek doesn't know this but after he left, me and Addison stayed together, for over 2 months"

"So what happened?"

"I cheated on her, I know, the irony is painful, she caught me with a peds nurse and she wasn't the first"

"Oh Mark" Meredith sighed.

"I know"

"She won't leave him y'know, they're really trying with this marriage thing"

"Maybe we should try"

"Try what?"

"The marriage thing" he smiled sincerely, she burst out laughing, her laughter slowed as she noticed him staying quiet "Oh, you're serious" she stuttered.

"Why not? We find each other attractive, we know about each others dirty pasts, it's perfect"

"Apart from the fact that you love Addison and I…." Meredith paused.

"Love Derek?"

"I don't know anymore" Meredith sighed.

"Come on, it'll be fun"

"You can't just leave New York"

"Of course I can" Mark smiled "Come on, you know you want too" he said nudging her leg.

Meredith stared at him blankly for a few seconds "Fine, ok" she sighed.

"Ok? You're saying yes?"

"I'm saying yes" she laughed "Do you think…."

"What?"

"We'll ever not be in love with other people?"

"Love hurts but this, this feels like…."

"It could be happiness?" Meredith finished.

"Yeah, I think it could" he smiled.

"We should have a scale"

"A scale?"

"To measure how much we love them, a 1-10 thing, a bit like they use for hurricanes and earthquakes except we'll call it, 'The Shepherd Scale', where's Addison right now, on the scale"

"Pretty sure it's a 10, Derek?"

"10, maybe a 9" she nodded "Maybe the next time we ask it'll be lower"

"I hope so" he sighed "Now, do I get to kiss my wife or not?"

"I think that can be arranged" she giggled leaning in to kiss him hard on the lips, their tongue's finding each other quickly, his hands moved up into her hair, they pulled away gasping for breath "I forgot how good you are at that" Meredith smiled.

"Hmm, you too"

"I guess you need a place to stay?"

"I do" he grinned.

"I have roommates"

"It's not the tense girl is it?" Mark shuddered.

"Cristina?" Meredith laughed "No, she is my person though so she'll probably give you a tough time"

"Your person?"

"Yeah, my person" Meredith nodded "I live with Izzie, the blonde and George, the shy awkward one"

"Ok then, well we should go and tell them"

"My shifts nearly over but I think I can get off now if I go and speak to the Chief, meet me outside the intern locker room in half an hour"

"Ok, see you there" Mark smiled "Goodbye kiss?"

Meredith leaned into him and kissed him softly "Goodbye kiss" she laughed before walking out of the room and to the Chiefs office.

~x~

"Ready to go wifey?" Mark said stepping into the locker room.

"I still can't believe you're married to Mark Sloan" Alex snorted "How long you staying here man, I'm really interested in plastics so I'd love the chance to work with you"

"Aww, Alex has a man crush" Cristina smirked.

"Shut your mouth Crack Whore!" Alex snapped.

"He's staying for quite a while actually guys" Meredith smiled.

"What are you talking about Mer?" Izzie asked curiously.

"We're going to try out the marriage thing" Meredith shrugged.

"But don't you still love McDreamy?" George blurted "Oh god I did not just call him McDreamy?"

"McDreamy?" Mark smirked "What, do I not get a nickname?"

"Ladies" Meredith said pulling Izzie and Cristina into the corner of the locker room.

"McSexy?" Meredith suggested.

"No, McYummy?" said Izzie.

"No, no that's not it" Cristina sighed.

"Ah, McSteamy" Meredith smirked.

"Oh, there it is" Cristina grinned.

Meredith walked back over to Mark and grinned "You now have your own McName"

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?"

"I'll tell you tonight" she whispered "Come on, lets go home"

"Home" he grinned, he took Meredith's hand and led her out of the locker room, they reached the lobby, just as they reached the doors they were stopped by a familiar voice.

"Mark, what are you still doing here?" Derek seethed.

"I'm taking my wife home" Mark smirked.

"I thought you were getting a divorce?" Addison asked.

"We're giving the marriage thing a try right Mer?"

"Right" she smiled.

"But you don't even love each other, you don't even know each other, it was just a drunken mistake" said Derek.

"That may be true but at the minute we're both looking for an inch of happiness so we're going to have some fun for a while" Meredith shrugged.

"He'll never love you" said Addison.

"I don't expect him too just like he doesn't expect me to love him " Meredith replied.

"You're making a mistake Meredith" Derek sighed "He's no good for you, you can't trust him"

"I trusted you" she shot back "I let you in Derek, I gave you everything to have it thrown straight back in my face, don't you dare try and tell me how to live my life, you lost the right to even think about me a very long time ago, come on Mark, lets go home"

"Yeah, come on" Mark smiled, they turned around and carried on walking out of the hospital, Meredith giggled loudly as Mark picked her up and carried her too her car "Come on Mrs Sloan, lets get you to bed"

"Absolutely Mr Sloan"

~x~~x~~x~


	2. Chapter 2

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 2_

_~x~_

"I'm going to change my name" Meredith said as she poured herself and Mark a drink.

"Huh?"

"I think I should change my name, so people know we're married"

"You sure about that?" Mark smirked.

"Yeah, why not! Dr Meredith Grey-Sloan, that sounds good doesn't it?"

"It does" he laughed "So you really want to do this huh?"

"I do, it could be fun, after the year I've had I need fun, I almost died last week y'know"

"What!"

"Got caught up in a Code Black, had my hand inside a man for hours, oh and inside the man was a bomb, I could've died"

"Wow, jeez Mer what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't" she shrugged "Oh I forgot to tell you the Chief says if you're serious about staying then you should go and see him tomorrow morning for an interview"

"Oh, great, thanks" Mark smiled "I'll do that"

"I can't believe we're doing this" Meredith laughed.

"Me neither" Mark smiled, he grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her onto his lap "So Mrs Sloan, what's this McName you girls were talking about?"

"You need to prove that you can live up to it, then I'll tell you" Meredith smirked.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" he grinned.

Meredith stood up and took off her shirt, she walked over to the kitchen door and started to drop her pants, he followed her as she walked out of the room and up the stairs, leaving clothes in a trail behind her, when he reached her room she was sat naked on her bed.

"Honey….I am home" he grinned, he stepped forward quickly claiming her lips with his, it was a fight for power as they rolled around on the bed together for one straight hour, as they finished, they lay close next to each other breathing heavily.

"Wow" Meredith gasped.

"I know" Mark replied.

"That was, wow" Meredith laughed.

"We're good at this, we have like, a thing, a you and me thing, that was like, wow"

"I could get used to this" Meredith grinned swinging leg over so she straddled his hips.

"Me too" he said staring at her breasts, his eyes wandering over her body.

"My face" Meredith said placing a finger under his chin and pushing it upwards "Up here" she smiled playfully, she leaned in a kissed him.

"And what a beautiful face it is" he smiled.

"You're not so bad yourself Dr Sloan"

"Oh, I know" he smirked.

"Ass" Meredith said hitting his chest.

"Your words, they hurt" he mocked, clutching his hands to his chest "So, this McName? Did I live up to it?"

"You certainly did McSteamy" she grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

"McSteamy huh? Way better than McDreamy" he smirked.

"Hmm, I think you might be right" she laughed leaning in for another kiss "Ok, I need to sleep now" she said rolling off him and onto her back, he groaned in protest and kissed his way down her neck "I have pre-rounds in the morning, you do not want to piss Bailey off believe me, she'll hate you from the get go and you do not want her hating you"

"Won't I be her boss?"

"That's irrelevant, even the Chief is scared of Miranda Bailey" Meredith laughed.

"So we have to go to sleep?" Mark pouted.

"Yeah, we do" Meredith laughed, she gave him one last passionate kiss before snuggling into his embrace and drifting into a deep sleep.

~x~

"Dr Bailey, can I get Dr Grey on my service today?" Derek asked as he approached the resident and her interns.

"It's Grey-Sloan actually Dr Shepherd" Meredith smiled.

"What?"

"My name, It's Dr Grey-Sloan"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me" he muttered a little too loudly.

"No I am not kidding you!" Meredith exclaimed "I am trying to make my marriage work just like you are so that means I'm taking his name, is that a problem?"

"No, of course not" Derek grimaced.

"Dr Grey-Sloan!" they heard Mark shout as he walked quickly down the hallway.

"Yes Dr Sloan?" Meredith replied.

"I got the job" he grinned.

"You did! That's great!" she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him softly.

"Woah, woah, none of that, we're in a place of work people" Dr Bailey snapped.

"I just wanted to congratulate my husband on his new job, everyone, meet Dr Mark Sloan, the new plastics attending" Meredith grinned.

"It's good to have you on the team Dr Sloan" said Dr Bailey "Now can you put my intern down and go and do your damn job!" she snapped.

"Hey, aren't I your boss?" Mark frowned.

"_Honey_, we had this conversation already didn't we" Meredith laughed "Do as your told"

"Ah, right, ok, see you for lunch?"

"Of course" she smiled kissing him quickly.

~x~

Meredith and Derek stood in the scrub room scrubbing out from their surgery in silence.

"How could you not tell me Meredith?" Derek said almost in a whisper.

"I don't think you have any right to judge me Derek"

"But you have the right to judge me?"

"It's different and you know it"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Maybe, I don't know, it wasn't important, you and Addison however, it's completely different, were you ever going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you the night she came actually"

"I don't know if that makes me feel better or not" Meredith sighed.

"This is surreal" Derek sighed, turning so his back pressed up against the sink, his arms folded across his chest.

"I know. It is." Meredith said mimicking his actions.

"Did you know?"

"Know that my Mark was your Mark? No. I didn't even know your Mark was a surgeon"

"Right, ok, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"We're just trying to move on Derek, he wants to move on from Addison and I want to move on from you, we're not going to wait around for you"

"I'm not…."

"That's what it feels like sometimes Derek, it feels like you want me to wait but I'm done with waiting because I know you'll never leave her and you shouldn't you love her Derek I know you do"

"I do, you're right I do but that doesn't mean I don't love you"

"Derek you chose, I asked you to pick and you did, you chose Addison and now I'm choosing me, I'm going to have some fun for me, nobody else, this is for me because I deserve happiness Derek"

"You do deserve happiness but I don't see Mark as the one to give it to you"

"Me and Mark have talked about this Derek, we have our rules and we're doing this our own way, it may not be conventional but it's happening. I'm not expecting you to be his best friend again, or to be my friend but I am hoping that you'll be civil, can you do that?"

"I can try" Derek shrugged.

"Well I guess I'll have to accept that for now"

"You can go and have your lunch now" Derek said flatly.

"Thank you" Meredith smiled.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith smiled taking a seat next to Mark "How's your first day going?"

"Ok I guess, I hate interns" he grumbled.

"Hey! I'm an intern!"

"But that's different, you're my wife" he smirked.

"Be nice to them Mark, they're my friends"

"I know" he sighed "And here they are" he said gesturing to the four interns walking towards them, he pulled a face when they all sat down at the table.

"Get that look of your face Sloan, you want to sit with wifey over here you have to sit with us" Cristina snapped.

"Is she always this snappy?" Mark smirked.

"Yeah" the interns replied.

Meredith groaned loudly when she saw Addison walking their way "Lunching with interns Mark, that is so unlike you" she smirked.

"I just thought it was a good idea to get to know my wife's friends, you got a problem with that?" he smirked.

"When are you going to give it up and go back home? I'm not coming back with you so just go!"

"Someone's full of themselves" Cristina muttered, causing the other interns to snicker, Addison sighed loudly and stormed off to find another table, soon enough Derek entered and went to sit with her.

"Satan and McAss are staring" Cristina whispered.

"You call her Satan?" Mark exclaimed.

"That one was all Derek" Meredith snorted.

"Figures" Mark shrugged "Want to give them something to stare at?" he smirked.

"What did you have in mind Dr Sloan?"

Mark reached out and pulled Meredith onto his lap, he leant her back with his arm supporting her and kissed her passionately, the interns gawked at them with wide eyes, when Mark sat Meredith back up she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, trying to catch her breath "Yeah, that was, hmm, yeah" she stuttered.

"I think the McMarrieds are about to explode" Cristina smirked, they all took a quick glance over to Addison and Derek who both had hands clenched tightly around their water bottles.

"Well this is going to make my day a lot more interesting" Izzie groaned "The She-Shepherds already in a bad mood"

"Well I have to work with the male Shepherd today, I think I win the game today" Meredith grimaced.

"What game?" Mark asked curiously.

"Who's life sucks the most" Alex replied "Mer always wins"

"I do, it's a gift" she smirked.

"Well maybe I can help with that" he grinned.

"You can. Later. I have to get back to my patients, see you soon" she said hopping off his lap and giving him one last kiss.

~x~

"That was quite a display in the cafeteria Mark" Addison smirked as he approached the nurses station "When _are_ you going to give it up?"

"I'm staying as long as I'm welcome" he smiled.

"Well you're not. Welcome that is."

"By you and Derek, by everyone else, I'm welcome"

"How did you even know she was here, with us?"

"Her name was published in an article about her mother, read it about a week ago, yeah ok so originally I was coming here to try and get you back and when I read that she was here, look into a divorce but Meredith told me that you guys are really trying at this marriage thing so I just figured maybe me and Mer can give it a shot, even if it's just for a bit of fun, I'm not going to try anything with you Addison, at least not now" he sighed.

"Fine, fine you can stay"

"I wasn't aware I needed your permission but thank you anyway" he nodded before picking up his charts and walking away.

~x~~x~~x~


	3. Chapter 3

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 3_

_~x~_

"Do you have to go?" Meredith pouted as she dropped Mark off at the airport.

"Meredith, I've been wearing the same 3 outfits for 2 weeks, I need some more clothes" he laughed "And I need to sort out my practice and apartment and get some of my stuff shipped over, I'll only be gone for 2 days, surely you can go without sex for that long" he smirked.

"It's not just about the sex" she groaned hitting him on the chest.

"I know, I was kidding, hey how about when I get back we go and get some rings, some proper one's"

"Really?" she smiled.

"Yeah, y'know, make it official"

"Oh, ok, yeah, that sounds good, now, give me one last kiss"

He leaned over to the drivers seat and kissed her heatedly "I think I'll kind of miss you" he mumbled into her lips.

"I guess I'll miss you too, on a scale of 1-10 where is she?"

"8, where's he?"

"8" she nodded.

"We're doing it Mer"

"We are" she smiled "Now go before I drive off with you still in the car"

"Bye babe" he said kissing her quickly before jumping out of the car, he gave her a small smile before shutting the door and making his way into the airport, she watched as the automatic doors closed behind him before she drove to the hospital.

~x~

"What's up with her?" Cristina asked as she stepped into the locker room.

"She just dropped McSteamy off at the airport" Izzie replied.

"He's only going for 2 days, the sex can't be that good" Cristina snorted.

"Sat _right_ here guys!" Meredith exclaimed "And it's not just about the sex, I'll miss him too"

"Aww, Mer's getting a crush on her husband" Cristina mocked.

"Shut up" Meredith groaned throwing a balled up paper towel at Cristina's head.

"Ok, assignments people" Dr Bailey said as she entered the locker room "Where are Karev and O'Malley!" she snapped.

"We're here! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry" George repeated as himself and Alex ran breathlessly into the locker room.

"Just don't let it happen again, for that you're both on labs for the rest of the day"

"But….!" George and Alex started.

"I can make it 2 days plus rectal exams if you really want!"

"Ok, we're sorry" they both grumbled.

"Yang you're with Burke, Steven's with Shepherd and Grey-Sloan with Montgomery-Shepherd"

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me!" Meredith muttered.

"Is that a problem Dr Grey-Sloan?"

"Of course not Dr Bailey" Meredith grimaced.

"Good, now get to it"

~x~

"Dr Montgomery-Shepherd, I'm your intern for the day" Meredith said as she approached the red-head at the nurses station.

"Dr Grey-_Sloan_, no Steven's today?"

"She's with your husband today" Meredith replied.

"Oh, speaking of husbands, can you page yours I need him on a consult"

"Didn't you hear? He's gone back to New York…."

"Finally came to his senses" Addison muttered.

"If you had let me finish, he's gone back to New York for 2 days to sort out his practice and get his things shipped over, look, I'm not expecting you to understand but me and Mark we're just trying to have some fun in our lives right now, we've both had bad years, I know things, about your _relationship_, I know you stayed with him, I know you told him you loved him, you can unclench because I'm not going to tell Derek, it's not my place but what I'm trying to say is if we can be civil around you and Derek then you can be civil around me and Mark, ok?"

"Ok" Addison said with a shocked look on her face.

"Ok. Good." Meredith said firmly.

~x~

"How are things with the She-Shepherd?" Cristina asked jumping up onto the gurney Meredith sat on in the tunnels.

"They're ok, she made some smart comment about him 'coming to his senses' but I put her straight, I think things are getting better though"

"Good, that's good" Cristina nodded.

"You're judging" Meredith acknowledged "I knew you had more to say about this, come on, spill it"

"It's just…." Cristina sighed "Are you sure you know what you're doing? It feels like you might fall for this guy and he's clearly still in love with the She-Shepherd and, I just don't want you to get into this to have your heart broken again"

"Who says I won't break his heart? He knows I still love Derek"

"Because you have bad karma"

"What if you're wrong? What if just this once….life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

"Just be careful, that's all I'm asking"

"I promise I'll be careful" Meredith smiled.

~x~

**2 days later.**

"Guess who?" Mark said placing his hands over Meredith's eyes.

"You're back" Meredith grinned turning around and hugging him tightly "I didn't think you were landing until tonight"

"Got an early flight, I have something for you"

"Oh?" she asked curiously.

Mark grinned and got down on one knee "Mark what are you doing?" she hissed "People are staring" she said noticing the several nurses and doctors looking over to the nurses station.

"Mrs Sloan, I would be honored if you would wear these rings" he said popping open the small ring box which held a platinum gold engagement ring with an oval diamond and a platinum gold wedding band.

"You are so embarrassing!" she blushed "But I guess my answer will have to be yes"

"I knew you couldn't resist me" he smiled pushing the rings onto her finger, he stood up and pulled two more jewelry boxes from his bag, he passed her the smaller one and held out his hand expectantly, she laughed and opened the box seeing a matching wedding ring, she slid it onto his finger with a smile.

"What's in that one?" she asked curiously, he opened it to reveal a thin platinum gold chain, he gestured for her to turn around, he took the necklace from the box and wrapped it around her neck, fastening it at the back "This is for when you're in surgery, you can put the rings on it so they're always with you"

"Y'know…." she said turning around in his arms "I think it's a 7 now"

"Me too" he smiled.

"I have a surgery with _Dr Shepherd_ now, what are you up to?"

"I have some paperwork I need to do, I'll be in my office"

"Ok, I'll come and see you after" she said pecking him on the lips "They're perfect Mark"

"I have good taste" he grinned "See you later"

Meredith smiled before turning away and walking towards the scrub room.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith said quietly as Derek entered the scrub room.

"Hey" he nodded.

Meredith took her necklace from around her neck and slipped on her rings, she put the necklace back around her neck and fiddled with the fastening, she felt two hands brush hers out of the way and fasten it for her, she turned around "Thanks" she smiled.

"He bought you rings" Derek stated.

"He did, in New York" Meredith nodded.

They continued to scrub in in silence "You ready?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, lets go Dr Shepherd" Meredith smiled as she backed into the OR.

As they positioned themselves around the patient Meredith looked up into the gallery to see Mark grinning down out her, she gave him a wink and then turned her attention back to Derek "It's a beautiful day to save lives, lets have some fun" Derek smiled.

~x~

"You watched my surgery" Meredith smiled as she stepped out of the scrub room to see Mark leaning against the wall.

"Thought I'd see my wife at work, you were great"

"I held a clamp for 3 hours Mark" she laughed.

"But you were great at it" he smiled.

"You are such a suck up, you want something don't you"

"Just your company, tonight, in our bed"

"You don't have to suck up to get me in our bed Mark, hey, since when was it _our_ bed?"

"Do you really need me to answer that question? Where are your rings?"

Meredith smiled and pulled the necklace from under her shirt, he turned her around, slipped the necklace off and let the rings fall into his hand, he put the necklace back on and turned her back around to face him, he grabbed her hand and kissed it softly before slipping the rings on one by one, he leant forward and kissed her, she nibbled on his lip as he pulled away.

"Dr Grey-Sloan our patient is waiting for us in post-op" Derek said approaching the couple.

"Dr Shepherd" Mark nodded.

"Dr Sloan" Derek replied flatly.

"I'll see you at home" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah, it's a date" Mark grinned, he watched Meredith walk away with Derek before turning away and walking to his office.

~x~~x~~x~


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok, so the song in this is **_**'Love is Strong' **_**by The Rolling Stones =D**

**Think the dancing scene between Mark and Callie in 4x13, with less hip action because lets face it that is **_**so **_**not Meredith. REVIEWS PLEASE! iam-kelly.**

**

* * *

**

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 4_

_~x~_

**2 weeks later.**

"McHot is a McBitch" Alex grumbled as he joined the group at Joe's.

"The Gynae Squad too much for you Karev?" Mark smirked.

"She's forcing me to work with her because I almost got her a law suit, how does that make sense! She was all 'Your ass is mine until I say otherwise' this is crap!"

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you got her a law suit! God Alex!" Izzie exclaimed.

"Oh, Isobel Stevens has finally left the hospital, does this mean heart patient dude finally kicked it?"

"I'm sorry this side of the bar is for surgeons, we don't socialize with _gynecologists_"

Everyone including Joe laughed at this, Alex pulled a face and took a seat next to Mark.

"Dude, that was rough!" Mark chuckled "Look, if you're nice to her she'll be nice to you, if you're an ass, she'll be an ass, it's the way she works, you have to give her respect to get it"

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Meredith smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean!" he laughed.

"You're giving advice. To an intern. Who isn't me!"

"I have had few drinks, must be getting a bit loose" he shrugged "But seriously Karev, go with it, you'll be off gynae before you know it"

"I'll try" Alex groaned.

"Mer, wanna dance?" Marks smiled standing up and holding out his hand.

"Absolutely" she said taking it, he walked them over to the duke box and selected a song.

"Oh my god!" she squealed as the music filled the room "You remembered!"

"How could I forget! All I'm saying is thank god for wedding videos" he smirked picking her up, her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs around his waist.

_Love is strong and you're so sweet  
__You make me hard you make me weak  
__Love is strong and you're so sweet  
__And some day, babe we got to meet_

_A glimpse of you was all it took  
__A stranger's glance it got me hooked  
__And I followed you across the stars  
__I looked for you in seedy bars_

_What are you scared of, baby  
__It's more than just a dream  
__I need some time  
__We make a beautiful team  
__Beautiful team_

She slipped down from his body and turned her back to him, pressing herself up against him, he held his hands to her hips reaching his head down to kiss her neck, one of her hands clasped over his, the other reaching up to touch his neck. Meredith's eyes looked briefly over to the bar, she saw her fellow interns watching them intently, she saw Izzie lean in and whisper in Cristina's ear, they both looked across the bar and laughed slightly, Meredith was curious and followed their eye line, all the while dancing to the rhythm of the song, as she reached their point of interest she saw them, The Shepherds, staring straight at them.

"We have and audience" Meredith murmured as Mark nuzzled into her neck.

"It's because we're hot" he smirked.

_Love is strong and you're so sweet  
__And some day, babe we got to meet  
__Just anywhere out in the park  
__Out on the street and in the dark  
__I followed you through swirling seas  
__Down darkened woods with silent trees_

Meredith turned into his body, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him towards her, catching his lips with hers, he lifted her up again to deepen the kiss.

"Shepherd Scale Check" he mumbled into her lips.

"6 and getting lower" she grinned.

_Your love is strong and your so sweet  
__You make me hard you make me weak_

_I wait for you until the dawn  
__My mind is ripped my heart is torn  
__And love is strong and your so sweet  
__Your love is bitter it's taken neat_

"Drink?" he smiled as she dropped back to her feet.

"Tequila" she grinned, she took his hand and led him back over to the bar, she squealed as he picked her up and placed her on it, he stood in between her legs and held onto her waist.

"Two tequilas please Joe" Mark smiled.

Joe slid them across the bar, Mark picked them both up and handed one to Meredith.

"To Vegas" he grinned raising his glass.

"To Vegas" she repeated clinking her glass against his before they both necked their shots, for the next hour the shots kept on coming, Mark was now sat on one of the stools, Meredith sat on his lap, her legs around his waist, her back leaning up against the bar.

"You, you are hot, you're very hot, my husband is hot!" Meredith exclaimed "Isn't my husband hot?" she said turning to Izzie.

"Whatever you say Mer, me and George are going home now" Izzie said jumping off her stool.

"Stay, have fun! We're just getting started!" Meredith grinned.

"I think you are more than started Meredith" George chuckled "Don't let them drive Joe" he shouted over his shoulder as they walked out of the bar.

"Joe, what did we say about keeping them coming?" Mark shouted.

"Here you go" Joe smirked "I'll be cutting you off soon mind you"

"Aww, you're no fun" Meredith pouted before taking her shot.

"As much as I am _loving_ watching you two get drunk I have to go" Cristina smirked "See you tomorrow Mr & Mrs McSteamy" she said patting them on the back "Don't let them drive Joe" she shouted over her shoulder.

"I should go too, can't be late for McBitch tomorrow can I?" Alex grumbled "Don't let them drive Joe"

Joe let out a laugh and gave Alex a wave as he backed out of the bar.

"Looks like it's just me and the Mrs" Mark smiled holding Meredith close to him and kissing her hungrily.

"I, I, I….need to pee" Meredith said struggling to get off Mark's lap, she tripped slightly but Mark caught her "I'll be, right back, I promise, right right back" she giggled walking over to the bathroom.

"I'm giving you two half an hour and two more shots, then I'm calling a cab" Joe said leaning over to Mark.

"I guess that'd be for the best, line them up" Mark grinned.

"Honey I'm back!" Meredith shouted from across the bar, she stumbled towards him, bumping into The Shepherds as she crossed the room.

"I am so so sorry" she giggled "So sorry" she said patting Addison's arm "Mr McSteamy!" she exclaimed.

"Mrs McSteamy!" Mark grinned walking over to them, somehow holding all 4 shots, he placed them on The Shepherds table "Joe's cutting us off, these are our last" he pouted.

"Aww, one after the other right? Bet I can do it quicker"

"Ready, go!" Mark said, he took a shot quickly, Meredith nudged him slightly putting him off balance so he missed his next shot.

"I WIN!" she shouted.

"You cheated! You pushed me!"

"I won! Fair and square! I won didn't I Derek?" she said looking over at Derek with her hands on her hips, Derek just stared at her wide eyed, she turned her attention to Addison "Well, tell him I won!"

"She won Mark" Addison smirked.

"Ugh, no fair! I'll get you next time Mrs Sloan"

"Impossible, I'm Meredith Grey-Sloan, I am the Queen of Tequila and inappropriate men! Every guy I meet turns out to be married!"

"Ooh ouch" Derek said with a small laugh.

"Or you!" she said poking Mark in the chest "But I kinda like you so I don't care, I think he's at a 5 now"

"Really, I think she's at a 5 too" he grinned.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked curiously.

Mark and Meredith both leant against the table with their elbows, cupping their faces with their hands.

"Well you see, when Mark first got to Seattle I was in love with you" Meredith said pointing at Derek "And he was in love with you" she said pointing between Mark and Addison "So, I decided we should have a scale 'The Shepherd Scale' like they have for hurricanes and earthquakes and stuff, soooo, when Mark first got here you were both at number 10, that's really high, but now, now you're at 5, that's like in the middle, so, we are getting over you, so, stop pulling those faces at us and have some fun, you guys are waaay too tense"

"What she said" Mark smirked.

"You're cabs here" Joe said placing a hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Oh thank god" Derek muttered.

"Come on wifey" Mark said scooping Meredith up in his arms "Say goodbye to The Shepherds"

"Goodbye to The Shepherds" she shouted over Mark's shoulder.

~x~

"Here" Addison said placing a cup of coffee down in front of Meredith "I would call it JuJu but it's black coffee, very strong black coffee, thought you might need it"

"Um, thanks" Meredith said taking a sip "How badly did I embarrass myself last night?"

"You told us all about 'The Shepherd Scale', it was _interesting_" Addison smirked.

"Oh god" Meredith groaned.

"It's fine" Addison smiled "Last night was quite an eye opener"

"I bet, all I can remember was dancing to our song and then having tequila and that's where it stops"

"That song was _your_ song?"

"Um yeah, wedding video, the only thing that keeps the memory alive" Meredith laughed "Could I be more white trash? Don't answer that!"

"It's um, nice to see you both smiling, I um, I've cause you both a lot of well, sadness I guess, so I'm, I'm glad you're happy" Addison nodded.

"Thanks" Meredith smiled "But it wasn't you who caused my 'sadness', it was Derek, so please, don't blame yourself for that"

"OK, I won't, have a nice day Meredith" Addison said walking off.

"Yeah, you too" Meredith sighed.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	5. Chapter 5

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 5_

_~x~_

**3 months later.**

"Meredith!" Izzie shouted from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Meredith said walking into the room as she brushed her hair.

"Why do we have so many tampons?" Izzie said gesturing to the open cabinet.

"I um, I don't know, maybe George bought twice as many?"

"Thinking about it, when was the last time you even used them! Meredith Grey are you pregnant!" Izzie exclaimed.

"No, no I can't be, we use protection plus I had a period last….okay so maybe I skipped a month….or two, oh shit!" Meredith gasped.

"Want me to run a test at the hospital?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah but just, don't tell anyone"

"I won't, it could just be stress or something though Mer"

"I know, it could be"

"What if you are pregnant?"

"I don't know, I'd have to speak to Mark, I'm not telling him unless it's necessary"

~x~

"I think you need to page Mark" Izzie said as she walked into the supply closet where Meredith was hiding out.

"It's positive?" Meredith asked, Izzie nodded and handed her the results, Meredith stared at them "Oh god" she sighed "Can you go and get him for me?"

"Yeah, sure, you going to be ok?"

"Fine, I just, need Mark"

"Ok, be back soon"

~x~

"Hey, why have I been summoned to a supply closet?" Mark asked as he stepped in to the closet locking the door behind him.

"We need to talk" Meredith said seriously.

"Ok" Mark said slowly "What's wrong?"

Meredith sighed and handed him the piece of paper she held tightly in her hand.

"Oh my god" he gasped.

"I don't know how I didn't notice sooner, I um, what do you want to do?"

"I, I don't, I don't want you to have an abortion"

"So you want to keep it?"

"Only if you do, I don't want you to have an abortion but if you don't feel ready for this, if you don't want this then by all means, go ahead but me personally, I don't think I could go through that again"

"Again?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Addison" Mark sighed.

"Oh my god!"

"I don't feel like giving the details at the minute and she still hasn't told Derek the truth so…."

"Zipped" Meredith nodded "I think, I think we should do this, I think we can do this"

"You do?" Mark asked innocently.

"I do, we're going to have a baby Mark" Meredith smiled.

Mark pulled her in for a tight hug "Thank you" he whispered into her hair "How far along do you think you are?"

"At least 2 months, maybe a bit more, we could go up to gynae and Izzie could do an ultrasound"

"Yeah, sure" he smiled "Come on, lets go see our baby"

~x~

"Ok, you both ready?" Izzie said as she pulled up her stool next to the ultrasound machine.

"Yeah, we're ready" Meredith sighed, her breath hitched as Izzie squeezed on the gel, she placed the wand on Meredith's stomach and found the image quickly.

"There, that's your baby" Izzie grinned.

"Wow" Mark gasped holding onto Meredith's hand "It's perfect"

"I'm saying 11 weeks, everyone in agreement?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah" Meredith sighed "How did I not notice I was pregnant, now that I think about it I have felt a bit off but I thought it was just stress and I guess my stomach looks a little bigger but I just, wow"

"When are you going to tell everyone? I won't be able to keep quiet for long" Izzie laughed.

"Soon, I guess we should probably tell the Chief and Bailey and then Cristina, George and Alex but everyone else, I don't know"

They all looked up when they heard the door open, their eyes met those of a familiar red-head whose own eyes were bulging out of her head.

"I um, didn't think anyone was in here" she stuttered.

"It's fine" Meredith sighed "Izzie you didn't lock the door! You were last in!" she hissed.

"Sorry" Izzie mumbled.

"I guess that's one down" Mark smirked.

"The wrong one" Meredith grumbled, she sat up and wiped the gel off her stomach.

"How um, far a long are you?" Addison asked.

"11 weeks" Meredith replied "I didn't know until today, I still can't believe I didn't notice"

"Yeah, well, um, congratulations I guess"

"Thank you" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah, thanks Addison" Mark smiled.

"Well, I'll, leave you too it" Addison stuttered backing out of the room.

"Because that wasn't awkward" Izzie smirked.

"She hates me" Meredith sighed, lying back on the bed.

"She does not hate you" Mark laughed.

"I sleep with her husband and then she finds out I'm married to her, whatever you were to her and now I'm pregnant with your baby, how can she not hate me?"

"Mer, you shouldn't worry about things like that, I am banning you from worrying"

"You can't ban be from worrying!"

"I just did" Mark smirked "So, ready to go and see the Chief?" he said standing up.

"As I'll ever be, can we have the scans Iz, 2 copies" Meredith smiled.

"Here you are" Izzie said handing them a scan each "Congratulations you guys" she grinned.

"Thanks, can you get everyone together for lunch later?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, I'll try" Izzie smiled.

~x~

"So, what's this about Meredith?" Richard asked as he look at the very nervous looking intern sat in front of him.

"See, the thing is, well I'm, we're, erm, how can I say this?" she stuttered.

"We're having a baby" Mark grinned taking Meredith's hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Oh" the Chief said simply "Oh, right, ok then"

"Look, I know this is going to be hard with my internship but I can work up until my 8th month and I won't take much leave after the baby's born, I don't want to give up my career for this child but at the same time I don't want to end up like my Mom was with me so, I could really use your support" Meredith sighed.

"You have my full support Meredith" Richard smiled softly "I do want you to have time to bond with the baby though but I think we can work something out"

"Thanks Chief" Meredith sighed.

"You wanted to see me Chief?" Dr Bailey asked stepping into the room.

"Meredith here has something to tell you" he smiled.

"What did you do now?" Bailey groaned.

"I'm pregnant" Meredith smiled.

"Oh, oh well, ok, how far along are you?"

"Oh yes, I forgot to ask" the Chief chuckled.

"11 weeks" Meredith nodded.

"We didn't even notice until today" Mark laughed "You wouldn't think we lived in a house full of doctors"

"Yeah, it was Izzie who pointed it out, I probably wouldn't have even thought about it"

"Well, it's going to be a lot of hard work Meredith" Bailey sighed "But I'm happy if you are"

"I'm very happy" Meredith grinned.

"You better step up for them Sloan" Bailey scolded.

"Of course" Mark smiled "Come on Mer, you best get back to work"

"Yeah, I think that's for the best" she smiled "We'll see you both later?"

"Of course you will" the Chief smiled "Congratulations"

"Thanks Chief" Mark grinned.

~x~

"Ok, so I have news" Meredith said sitting down at the lunch table, Cristina, George and Alex all looked up at her expectantly, Izzie sat with a huge grin on her face "I'm pregnant"

"YOUR WHAT!" Cristina shouted, George spat his drink across the table.

"Eeew, god Bambi" Alex groaned wiping the sprayed drink off his shirt.

"Sorry" George choked.

"I'm 11 weeks, I only found out today because Izzie realized the amount of tampons we had left was unusually high so, yeah, I'm pregnant"

"But you know what happens to pregnant interns Meredith" Cristina said calmly.

"Yeah, you'll end up on the gynae squad for sure" Alex snorted.

"No, I won't, I've told the Chief and Bailey and we're going to work something out, by the time I have the baby we'll have almost finished out first year so seriously, it'll be fine, we want this baby"

"So this means Sloan can't leave? Excellent!" Alex grinned.

"Ok, number one, you're stuck on the gynae squad, number two, he makes you buy his coffee" Cristina laughed "Have you even been in one of his surgeries?"

"Yes!" Alex protested weakly.

"I'll talk to him" Meredith smiled "If he doesn't start treating you right just let me know, I'll pull the pregnant wife card"

"The pregnant what card?" Meredith could feel a familiar figure stood behind her and from the looks on her friends faces it was him, she slowly turned herself around "Dr Shepherd, um, hi"

"You're pregnant?" he stuttered.

"Yeah, 11 weeks, I'm surprised Dr Montgomery-Shepherd didn't tell you, she walked in on Izzie doing the ultrasound"

"Oh. So you're keeping it then?"

"Yeah, I am"

"Do you really think it's a good idea bringing a child into a loveless marriage?"

"Oh you did _not_ just say that!" Meredith gasped, she stood up and stood angrily in front of him "Listen up _Dr Shepherd_, ok so me and Mark aren't 'in love' but we're pretty close to that right now, you know that 'Shepherd Scale' I told you about, you're at a 2, both of you, you're at number 2 and after that little comment your getting lower by the second, so you can get off your high horse Derek. We will love this child regardless of our relationship status in 6 months time and this child will have a family no matter what, he's not going back to New York so just get over it and go be happy with your wife, ok?"

"This is ridiculous!" Derek exclaimed "He's probably cheating on you y'know, he's Mark Sloan, he doesn't _do_ commitment."

"Oh, like you did?" Meredith smirked "I was your dirty mistress remember! And don't even bother pulling the 'we were separated' crap! Mark _is not_ cheating on me!"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I wouldn't do that to her" Mark said as he approached the table "She's my wife, I wouldn't cheat on her"

"Bullshit" Derek spat.

"Let me ask you this _Derek_, how many times since I moved here have you heard a rumor about me sleeping with someone else? I can answer, NONE! Not one. I don't need anyone else, I have Meredith and now I have this baby! Her life is none of your business anymore, Addison's however is, so stop harassing my wife and go and find yours"

"I won't be here to pick up the pieces Meredith, come to your senses before it's too late" Derek said before walking away.

"I don't even recognize him anymore" Mark sighed.

"Me neither" Meredith sighed.

"Are you ok?" he asked hugging Meredith closely.

"I'm fine, we're fine, everything is going to be fine" she smiled looking up at him, he bent his head down and touched his lips against hers.

"Glad to here it" he grinned.

~x~~x~~x~


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I really should be in bed right now, it's 2:30am, I have to be up my 7:30am to get to college for 9. I'm a bit of a night owl as you can tell! Sorry this update took a while =/ Should be getting another one up soon!**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed etc. Keep them coming! iam-kelly.**

* * *

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 6_

_~x~_

"What were you thinking Meredith?" Mark asked as they lay in bed, the interns had been caught trying to keep Denny Duquette alive after one of them cut the LVAD wire.

"I didn't cut the wire Mark"

"I know you didn't but one of them did, I have a pretty good idea which one, why did you get involved?"

"I couldn't let him die! I had to help!"

"You should've have called in a superior Meredith"

"I'm not having this discussion anymore" Meredith sighed rolling onto her side and pulling the covers right up to her neck.

"You're risking your career, you get that right?"

"Goodnight Mark"

"This isn't over"

"Goodnight Mark!"

~x~

"So, you're planning a prom" Mark smirked to Meredith as he stepped into the intern locker room.

"Oh, so you're not mad at me today"

"Mer, I wasn't mad, I'm just worried, you are the mother of my child, I worry about you"

"I know what I'm doing, there's no need to worry"

"I'll try but I'm not promising anything" he sighed "So, will you be my date to the prom?" he grinned.

"I'll think about it" she smiled playfully.

Mark took a step closer to her and pressed her up against the lockers in a heated kiss.

"Will you be my date to the prom?" he said, his lips still close to hers.

"Damn you and your kissing" she muttered "Fine, I'll be your date to the prom"

"See you tonight then Momma Bear" he grinned.

"Mark?" she asked as he walked out of the door.

"Yeah?" he said stepping back in briefly.

"You ever call me Momma Bear again and you won't be getting any sex from me"

Mark simply laughed before walking back out of the room.

~x~

"Hey, Mer, what's wrong?" Mark said grabbing Meredith's arm as she walked passed him on the walkway.

"Nothing I'm fine" she said trying to pull away from him.

"Meredith, what happened in there?" he said gesturing to the Chiefs office.

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Meredith, if you don't talk I'll go in there and force it out of him, now what is it?"

Meredith sighed heavily "He's the reason my father left, he was sleeping with my Mom, she left my Dad for him but he stayed with his wife"

"Oh, oh Mer, come here" he said pulling her in for a hug.

"I just, I can't believe this" Meredith cried into Mark's chest.

"Hey, come on Mer, it's fine, it's going to be ok"

"This is not what I need today, I don't want to be thinking about this"

"Then don't, concentrate on our baby" he smiled placing a hand against her stomach, a small bump seemed to appear over night as she got closer to the four month mark.

"I will, I'm fine" she said wiping her face with her hands "I'm good, I should go and plan this prom or whatever, I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll be waiting" Mark grinned, he kissed her softly before letting her walk away from him.

~x~

"She stood you up?" Derek asked as he approached a very nervous looking Mark.

"She'll be here"

"Maybe she finally came to her senses" Derek smirked.

Derek was surprised when Mark didn't make a comment at his obvious dig, he wasn't so surprised when he followed his eye line to the top of the stairs, Meredith made her way down in a black figure hugging dress that showed off her small bump, Mark instantly walked over to the steps and waited at the bottom for her.

"You look, incredible" he grinned as he took her hand.

"Thanks" she blushed "You scrub up nicely Dr Sloan" she said sliding her hand down the lapel of his tux.

"Wanna dance?" he smiled.

"With you? Always" she grinned.

"I don't think it would be appropriate for us to do the horizontal mambo right now babe" Mark smirked.

"For gods sake Mark! Do you only think of sex?" she said hitting him in the chest.

"Only with you" he grinned.

"You are such an ass" she said trying to stop a smile from appearing on her face.

"You're cute when you're trying to be angry" he said pulling her close to him as they reached the dance floor.

"Shut up" she sighed wrapping her arms around his neck as his gripped onto her hips, he bent his head down and kissed her softly on the lips.

~x~

After an hour of dancing, drinking the non-alcoholic punch and eating so much food that she could burst (all the while blaming the baby for her excessive appetite) Meredith sat across Mark's lap, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

"I could stay like this forever" she sighed contently.

"Me too" he smiled "But, I kind of want our baby with us first"

"Of course" she grinned.

"Meredith, thank god your here" George's girlfriend Callie panted as she approached the couple.

"What's wrong?" Meredith said instantly sitting up straight.

"You have to come now, it's Izzie"

"Ok, Mark stay here, I'll be back soon" she said pecking him on the lips.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure it's probably nothing" she smiled before following Callie from the room.

~x~

"Shepherd, Sloan, Addie" the Chief said as he approached the 3 attendings who all stood in the lobby, Mark leaning against the railings, Derek and Addison stood silently together.

"Yeah" they all said turning to face him and Bailey.

"Uh have you seen Bailey's interns? Meredith? Yang?" They all shook their heads "I'm looking for Izzie Stevens in particular"

"Torres came and got Meredith about 30 minutes ago, said something about Izzie but I don't know where they went or why, I wish I could help. Uh, is there something we should know?" Mark asked.

"Chief" Bailey said before he had a chance to answer Mark, they all turned around to see Izzie looking broken, mascara running down her face walking slowly in their direction. George and Alex followed close behind her, Meredith behind them, none of them spoke, Izzie suddenly stopped walking and turned back to face them, looking directly at the Chief.

"It was me. I cut his LVAD wire. I did it, no one helped me….And now...I thought I was a surgeon, but….I can't. I thought I was a surgeon, but I am not...so I quit" she choked through her tears, George attempts to block her from walking off.

"Izzie" Dr Bailey sighed.

Izzie takes a step around George and starts to walk down the stairs, George and Alex follow her.

"I guess that puts an end to the evening" Addison sighed.

"Yeah" Derek nodded.

"Yeah I guess it does" the Chief sighed before walking off, Addison begins to follow him patting him on the back comfortingly.

"Come on Mer, lets get you home" Mark said holding his hand out to her, she didn't move, she just stared blankly at the staircase Izzie, George and Alex had just stepped down.

"Meredith?" Mark said stepping closer to her "Honey, come on, you need some sleep"

"Did you see her face? She looked, god Mark, she looks broken" Meredith sighed "He proposed, they were going to get married and now, now he's gone, just like that, he's just, gone"

"Meredith, he was a very sick man, there wasn't anything more they could've done, right now we need to get home and help the guys with Izzie and then you need to get some rest, for the baby if not for yourself"

"Promise me" Meredith sniffed as she wiped the stray tears of her face.

"Promise you what?"

"That you'll never leave this child, you won't be like my father, no matter what I do, what happens between us, promise me you'll be there for them"

"Meredith, I promise, I'll be there for both of you, I'm not going anywhere, I promise" he said kissing her forehead.

Meredith snuggled into his chest, he stroked her hair softly, his chin resting on her head.

"I think we should go now" she said quietly.

"Yeah, come on" he smiled softly, she kept one arm wrapped around his body, he draped an arm across her shoulders, they slowly made their way down the stairs and to the parking lot.

They hadn't noticed Derek watching their every move but Addison had, she strode back over to him and gave him a few choice words, all of which were heard by Nurse Debbie, all of which would be spread around the hospital in a few short moments.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Ok so I know I'm supposed to be on a hiatus but I had this chapter ready and this fic has been getting some great attention from you readers =D So this is something to keep you going, but seriously this time, nothing more until the 19****th**** [Might even treat you to a double update ;)]**

**Keep reviewing! They really do make all the difference =)**

**iam-kelly.**

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_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 7_

_~x~_

**2 weeks later.**

"Did you hear the news?" Izzie said sitting down next to George at the lunch table.

"What news?" Alex asked curiously.

"They're getting a divorce" Izzie whispered.

"Meredith and Sloan?" Cristina asked.

"Guess again" Izzie smiled.

"NO! No way! The Shepherds? Really? How do you know this?" Cristina exclaimed.

"Apparently Derek spent the whole of prom staring at Meredith and complaining about her and Sloan, Dr Montgomery-Shepherd, or not Shepherd, anyway, she pulled him to one side and told him that she was sick of it, she was fed up of him pining over Meredith and that he should expect the divorce papers as soon as she could get her lawyers to send them over"

"How the hell do you know all this? You've been back for one day!" George exclaimed.

"Well when you're stuck being the shadow you tend to listen, turns out that when Dr Montgomery pulled him to one side Nurse Debbie was lurking around the corner" Izzie shrugged.

"You get the best gossip" Cristina grinned.

"What gossip?" Meredith said slipping into an empty chair, placing her overflowing tray of food in front of her.

"Jeez Mer, want to eat any more?" Alex smirked.

"Eating for two here Alex" she said pointing at her small bump "So, someone said gossip, spill it"

"Ok, um, how do we say this?" George stuttered.

"Oh for gods sake" Cristina grumbled "The McMarrieds are not so McMarried anymore"

"WHAT?" Meredith shouted.

"OK, calm down" Izzie laughed nervously "She's giving him divorce papers any day now, said she was fed up of him pining over you and complaining about you and Sloan, she has a point"

"Yeah, I uh, I guess she does" Meredith stuttered "Wow, who'd have thought that me and Mark would work it out over them"

"I know, I don't think anyone thought that was going to happen" Cristina smirked.

"Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, I mean, they've been married for 12 years and it's over, because of me, ugh I feel awful"

"Feel bad for me, I'm still her intern, she is _not_ going to be happy, I was finally getting somewhere, looks like another couple of weeks on gynae for me" Alex grumbled.

"This is all my fault" Meredith said sadly.

"Mer, it's not your fault" George said reaching across the table and squeezing her hand "They've tried to make it work, some things just have to come to an end"

"I feel like I should cook her something" Meredith sighed.

"Ok, number 1, you can't cook" Cristina laughed "Number 2, this is not Shiva, they're getting a divorce, nobody died"

"She's right" Izzie laughed "They'll be fine"

"Hmm, ok" Meredith shrugged "Oooh, you have chips" she said reaching over and grabbing the bag of chips from Alex's tray.

"If this is how lunch is going to go for the next 5 months I'm not eating here anymore" Alex said trying to grab the chips back unsuccessfully.

"Don't see anyone objecting" Cristina smirked "Don't you have vagina's to see too"

"Shut up" Alex groaned as he stood up and left the table.

~x~

"I sure hope that's water" Addison said sliding on a bar stool next to Meredith.

"Of course" Meredith smiled.

"Joe, vodka straight up" Addison said leaning over the bar.

"You sure about that?" Joe asked curiously.

"I just gave my husband divorce papers, signed divorce papers, of course I'm sure" Addison replied sadly.

"Ok then" Joe said pouring out a shot of vodka and sliding it towards her.

"Leave the bottle?" she asked hopefully.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Joe frowned.

"Probably not but what I really want to be doing is crying but my tear ducts seem too proud, so, I'm drinking, it's not like Meredith is going to judge me"

"You'll be sorry in the morning" Meredith smirked.

"I'm always sorry in the morning" Addison sighed necking back a shot and instantly pouring another one.

"Addison, I'm sorry" Meredith said placing a soft hand on Addison's arm.

"It's not your fault Derek found your marriage more interesting than his own" Addison said taking her next shot.

Meredith looked at her, she recognized the dark and twistiness in her eyes and said no more, she just poured her another shot and passed it to her.

"Whats this? A peace offering?" Addison asked skeptically.

"It can be a peace offering or it can be just a drink, it's up to you" Meredith shrugged.

"I guess it can be a peace offering" Addison said with a small smile.

"Ok then" Meredith nodded.

Half an hour later and they were still sat at the bar, Addison's head was now resting on Meredith's shoulder, Meredith's hand stroking her arm softly.

"Sorry I'm late, surgery ran over" Mark said sitting on the bar stool on Meredith's other side, he leant over and kissed her cheek, then noticing the red-head resting on her shoulder "What's going on?" he frowned.

Meredith looked over to him and smiled sadly, he sighed as the realization hit him and squeezed Meredith's shoulder reassuringly.

Addison reached out for the half empty vodka bottle and poured a messy shot drinking it quickly.

"How longs she been at it?" Mark asked quietly.

"Half an hour but that bottle was full when she started" Meredith frowned.

"I am here y'know, just because I'm drunk doesn't mean I'm deaf" Addison grumbled "I'm fine!"

"That's bullshit" Mark smirked "Come on, we should go home Mer"

"I'm not leaving her to get drunk Mark" Meredith whispered.

Mark walked over to Addison's side and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder "Mark! What are you doing! Put me down!" she screamed hitting his back with ineffectual fists.

"Meredith won't leave while you're getting drunk so you're sleeping on our couch" he said carrying her out of the bar, Meredith quickly picked up Addison's things and followed them out.

"Mark! Put me down, I'm fine, my hotel room is right across the street, I don't need to sleep on your couch, put me down!"

Mark opened the back door of his car and sat Addison down inside "Buckle up" he said patting the roof of the car, Addison crossed her arms and huffed loudly "You either buckle yourself up or I do it for you"

"Fine!" she snapped pulling her seatbelt on.

"Thank you" Mark smiled, he shut the car door, he got in at the drivers side and started the engine while Meredith got in the car.

~x~

By the time they pulled into their drive Addison was passed out on the back seat, Mark pulled her out, scooping her up in his arms, Meredith opened the front door heading straight for the kitchen, Mark lay Addison down on the couch, pulling the blanket that lay over the back of the sofa onto her, Meredith walked back in with a glass of water and 2 aspirin, she placed them on the coffee table leaving a post-it note stuck to the glass.

'_You'll need these when you wake up, Mer x'_

"Come on babe, lets go to bed, she'll be fine down here" Mark said leading Meredith out of the room.

~x~

"Meredith" Izzie said loudly bursting into Meredith and Mark's bedroom.

"God Izzie, it's….5:30 in the morning" Mark groaned.

"Yes, and we have pre-rounds, we don't all live the luxury life you attendings do" Izzie quipped "Anyway, what I was going to say was, why is Dr Montgomery passed out on our sofa?"

"She was drinking her life away with vodka at Joe's, I didn't want to leave her there, she passed out in the car on the way home" Meredith sighed "Is she awake?"

"No, she's dead to the world, should we wake her?"

"Leave her" said Mark "Her shift doesn't start for another 4 hours and neither does mine, so if you'll excuse me" he said gesturing towards the door.

"You are so stroppy in the morning" Izzie sighed "Mer, get your ass out of bed, if you're not in the car in half and hour we're leaving without you" Izzie shouted over her shoulder.

"I suppose I should get up" Meredith said sitting up in the bed "I'll see you at work" she smiled, leaning over to Mark and kissing his lips softly.

"See you at work, love you Mer" he smiled sleepily as she reached the door.

Meredith froze not knowing if he had said it as some sort of habit, within the second she heard the familiar sound of his light snores "Love you Mark" she whispered.

~x~

"Please tell me you have coffee in this house" Addison groaned as she walked into the kitchen to see Mark sat reading the paper at the table.

"It's a house full of surgeons, of course we have coffee" he said gesturing to the coffee machine, which already had a fresh batch sat in it, she walked over and grabbed the biggest mug she could find and poured in the coffee, she gulped some straight back before stumbling over to the table and sitting herself down.

"Where is everyone? Isn't this place supposed to be bustling with interns?"

"Pre-rounds" Mark said simply "Our shift doesn't start for another 2 hours so if you want a shower or anything go ahead"

"Hmm, maybe when my head stops spinning" Addison groaned rubbing her forehead.

"Did you take the aspirin Meredith left for you?"

"Yeah, waiting for it to kick in, how much did I drink last night?"

"Half a bottle of vodka, I don't know how you weren't puking but you were passed out by the time we got here so…."

"Yeah" Addison nodded, she took another gulp of her coffee she looked over at Mark and sighed heavily "My marriage is over"

"Yeah, it is" Mark nodded "I'm sorry Addison"

"I know, you're sorry, everybody's sorry, I should've seen it coming" she shrugged "I still haven't told him"

"Oh" Mark replied "Are you going to?"

"I have to, he'll try and go all 'nice guy' with the lawyers and I can't let him do that without knowing all of the details"

"Ok, tell him, just please promise me you won't drink yourself to death afterwards ok?"

"Yeah, I promise, right, um shower? Where would that be?"

"Last door on the right, Izzie changes the towels every morning before she leaves so help yourself, there's loads of girly shampoo and crap to use as well" he shrugged.

"Right, thanks" Addison laughed "You better have pancakes and bacon for me when I get back" she shouted over her shoulder.

Mark merely laughed before returning his attention back to his paper 'Maybe we can really be friends again' he smiled to himself.

~x~

"I told him" Addison muttered as she spotted Meredith and Mark stand relatively close to her at the nurses station.

"Told who wha….oh" Meredith stuttered "Are you ok?"

"I feel like a bitch" Addison sighed "He's still giving me New York"

"He's giving you the brownstone? I knew you'd get the Hamptons but the _brownstone_?" Mark asked curiously.

"I think his exact words were _'All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle and never to see you again' _So basically, I'd watch out because he'll be onto you next" she sigh pointing at Mark.

"Did you tell him about….?" Mark asked.

"No and I don't want to, I just, he doesn't need to know that. Right, now we're going to shut up about it all, all of it, not another word about any of it, starting a fresh so, Hi, I'm Addison Montgomery" she said holding her hand out towards them.

Meredith smiled remembering that fateful day where Addison walked into the hospital lobby announcing herself as Derek's wife, she took her hand a shook it lightly "Hi, I'm Meredith Grey-Sloan and this is my husband Mark, it's a pleasure to meet you"

"Likewise, now I have to go and spend an hour with lots of cute babies, if it's ok with Dr Sloan would you like to come with? Get some practice in?"

Meredith looked up at Mark and grinned "I'll send Alex down to help you, he's very capable"

"Ugh, fine, go, go to the land of pink and squishy" he said kissing her forehead.

"Be nice to Alex, if I find out he's been getting your coffee and dry cleaning again I will kill you Mark Sloan"

"Tell Karev he owes you and to prep 321 for a rhinoplasty, he's scrubbing in"

"Will do, thank you" Meredith smiled sweetly "Lets go see the babies" she grinned, Addison laughed at her enthusiasm and they walked off to the NICU.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Double update =)**

**Anyone who knows my 'ships' will know **_**exactly**_** why I did what I did in this chapter, I couldn't resist!**

**Would just like to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and story alerted this fic, I'm really really grateful, keep reviewing, always love to hear what you think.**

**iam-kelly.**

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_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 8_

_~x~_

**1 month later.**

"So, I have to ask you something and you can totally say no but I want you to say yes so you have to say yes because we're friends now and I think it would be good that you say yes so I'm really hoping you do and…."

"And you're rambling, breathe Meredith" Addison smirked.

"Right, sorry, erm anyway, I'm having this thing at my house, like a girly sleepover type thing which isn't something I would usually do but Izzie's making me because she wants an excuse to eat crappy food and anyway, I'm having this thing and I want you to come"

"You want me to come to your house for a girly sleepover with you, Stevens and Yang?" Addison asked skeptically.

"Erm yeah, Callie will be there as well and she's your friend now so, you have to come, for her, and for me, please" Meredith grinned.

"Get me the biggest tub of Cookie Dough ice cream you can find and I'll be there"

"Thank you" Meredith smiled "So, it's tomorrow night come over anytime after 5"

"I'll be there" Addison smiled "But seriously, if there's no ice cream I'm leaving"

"Trust me, there will be ice cream" Meredith laughed "I have to go and pick up some labs but I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, bye Meredith"

~x~

"Jeez Izzie you've made enough muffins to feed the whole hospital" Cristina said picking up a muffin and taking a bite.

"I got a bit carried away" Izzie smiled sheepishly "Plus, Meredith's eating enough food to sink a ship, they'll be gone within an hour"

"Hey! I heard that" Meredith said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry" Izzie mumbled.

"So, what time's Satan getting here?" Cristina smirked.

"Don't call her that" Meredith sighed "She's my friend, we're all friends, she's not Satan"

"I have to agree with Momma Bear over here, she's actually really nice" Izzie shrugged.

"What have I said about Momma Bear?" Meredith groaned.

"It's cute" Izzie smiled.

"Shut up" Meredith groaned "That should be Addison and Callie" she smiled when the doorbell rang "Hey" she smiled as she opened the door.

"Did you get the ice cream?" Addison said quickly.

"I got the ice cream" Meredith laughed.

"Wow, it's like a bakery in here" Callie laughed as they walked into the kitchen.

"That's what happens when you live with Seattle's version of Martha Stewart" Meredith smiled.

"Shut up! I bake okay? Once I start I can't stop and….oh just shut up and eat one" Izzie sighed.

"I have to say" Addison said through her first bite "These _are_ good"

"It's because I'm brilliant" Izzie grinned.

~x~

An hour later the 5 girls were spread out across the living room, Meredith sat cross legged in the arm chair, a bag of chips sat in the middle of her legs, one hand resting on her bump, the other constantly moving from the chips to her mouth, Cristina lay on the floor, her legs propped up on the coffee table, Izzie sat on the floor wrapped up in her duvet, Callie and Addison sat at opposite ends of the sofa, their backs leaning up against the arm rests, their legs tangled together.

"So, when are you going to let our boy Evil Spawn of your services?" Cristina smirked at Addison.

"When he stops being an insensitive ass" Addison replied.

"Hate to disappoint but that won't be happening anytime soon" Izzie laughed.

"Didn't you tell me he's been better lately?" Callie asked Addison.

"Better, yeah, he has, it's weird, it's like one minute he can be so rude and obnoxious and well, an ass and then the next he surprises me, it's usually when it's just me and him in NICU or something, he is a nice guy, I just wish he'd be like that all the time"

"I bet you would" Callie muttered.

"What? What's that supposed to mean!" Addison exclaimed.

"Don't think we haven't noticed you giving him the once over" Izzie laughed.

"What are you talking about!" Addison laughed nervously.

"You watch him when you think nobody's looking" Cristina nodded "You look at him with lusty eyes, like you want to tear his clothes off or something"

"I do not!" Addison protested "That's highly inappropriate, I would never do such a thing"

"Bullshit" Meredith coughed.

"Ok, so he's hot but you all know that!" Addison shrugged "Right?"

"Yeah, yeah ok, he is hot but, you like him" Izzie grinned playfully.

"I do not like him!"

"Oh, you do" Callie nodded "You like him, you like him a lot"

"Who likes who?" Alex asked strolling into the room and grabbing a muffin from the coffee table.

"Um, nothing" Addison stuttered.

"You didn't tell me we were expecting company" Alex smirked to Meredith.

"You weren't. Me and Izzie were. I thought you had a surgery with Burke?"

"Postponed" he said climbing over Izzie to get to the sofa, he gestured for Callie and Addison to sit up, they both pulled their legs up to their chests, Addison sat cradling the carton of ice cream, she could sense everyone staring at her intently as Alex sat down, she scooped a big spoonful of ice cream and shoveled it into her mouth nervously.

"So, what are we talking about?" Alex grinned.

"Girl stuff" Meredith shrugged.

"That all I'm getting? Girl stuff? Come on! There has to be something!"

"Well see, we have this friend" Izzie started "And she's in denial about her feelings for our other friend, we think she really likes him but she's flat out denying it even though she spends most of her day staring at him with lusty eyes, she wants him"

"Is she hot?" Alex asked curiously.

"McHot" Meredith nodded.

"McYeah she is" Cristina added seeing if Alex would connect the dots back to their conversation months before.

"Ohhh, it's you" Alex grinned pointing at Addison "So…." he said taking the ice cream from her hands and eating a spoonful before handing it back to her "Who do you have the hots for?" he grinned.

"Who said it was me?" Addison exclaimed.

"Because"

"Because is not an answer" Addison smirked.

"Because he was the one who Mc'd you" Izzie laughed.

"Oh really" Addison grinned "So, you think I'm hot?" she teased, cursing herself when she realized the mistake of blatant flirting.

"Just stating the facts….you have ice cream on your face" he said reaching his thumb over to her lip and wiping it, Addison froze at the contact gulping slightly.

"Anyway ladies, that's enough girly stuff for me today" Alex said standing back up, for the second time he reached over to Addison's ice cream and ate a scoop "Thanks for the ice cream" he grinned at her before backing out of the living room.

Addison stayed shock still, everyone stared at her with amused looks on their faces.

"Ok, seriously, you want him" Callie laughed.

"You were flirting" Meredith grinned.

"And blushing" Izzie added.

"Tut tut tut, Dr Montgomery has a crush on her intern" Cristina mocked.

"Shut up" Addison groaned burying her face in her hands "I don't want to talk about it"

"Oh, so there's something to talk about?" Meredith smirked.

"No!" Addison answered lamely.

"Ok, spill it" Izzie grinned.

"Fine! We almost kissed, about 2 weeks ago, in the NICU, a nurse walked in, I swear our lips were like this close" Addison sighed as she held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart.

"So, why didn't you do anything about it?" Callie exclaimed.

"Because, it shouldn't have happened, I was having a bad week and he was saying all of these perfect things and, it just shouldn't have happened"

"Perfect things? Evil Spawn does not say perfect things" Cristina shuddered.

"That's what I thought. Until he said them. He um, he switched Derek's cocoa for a cup he'd filled with espresso"

"Why?" Meredith laughed.

"Because he was rude to me" Addison blushed.

Izzie let out a huge "Aww"

"I think it's safe to say that he is _very_ interested" Callie laughed.

"Ugh, I don't know, this is so hard, I haven't done the flirty dating thing since med school" Addison sighed "What do I do? Do I ask him out? Do I wait for him to ask me out?"

"If you want to ask him out ask him out" said Cristina "Seriously why does it have to be down to the guy to ask the girl out?"

"You really think I should ask him?" Addison pouted.

"Yes" they all replied.

"Ok, ok I'll ask him" she nodded, they all looked at her expectantly "I'm not going to ask him now!" she exclaimed.

"Why not? He didn't go upstairs so he'll probably be in the kitchen" Meredith shrugged "Go for it"

"Fine" Addison said standing up "But if this goes badly I'm blaming you, all of you"

"Have a little faith" Callie smiled.

"I lost my faith a long time ago" Addison muttered as she walked in the direction of the kitchen, everyone waited a beat before running over to the kitchen door, not before they had to hoist Meredith out of her chair.

~x~

"Hey" Addison smiled as she walked into the kitchen, Alex was sat at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey" he nodded.

Addison walked over to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice, pouring herself a glass.

"Having fun?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, yeah I am" she smiled.

"Good, thats good, it's good that your all friends now, saves me, Sloan, Burke and O'Malley a lot of trouble" he laughed.

"Yeah" Addison replied "Alex, um, I was thinking, that maybe you could, well we could, erm, god I'm bad at this" she sighed "Maybe we could, go and get a drink sometime?"

"Are you asking me out?" Alex smirked.

"Um, yeah, I think I am"

"I didn't think you were interested, what happened to 'I'm your attending'" he smiled playfully.

"Alex" Addison sighed "Do you want to go out with me or not?"

"Addison, I want to go out with you" Alex grinned.

"Good, good ok then" Addison nodded "Erm, Joe's at 8 tomorrow?"

"I'll be there" Alex smiled.

"Ok, I'll um, see you tomorrow, I should, get out there" she said gesturing towards the door.

"Yeah" Alex smiled "Actually…." he said as her hand just reached the door.

"Yeah?" she said turning back.

Alex stood slowly and walked over to her, he placed a hand against her face softly, he leaned towards her, she leaned towards him, their lips touched softly, she slid her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened, his tongue sliding into her mouth, as they pulled away from each other her hands stayed around his neck, his on her hips.

"That's what would've happened if the nurse hadn't have walked in" Alex whispered.

"I think I'll have to fire her" Addison smiled "Because I don't want anyone interrupting that again" she kissed him again before walking out of the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to flash him a smile.

~x~

"Hey" Addison smiled as she walked back into the living room, she suddenly noticed everyone looking slightly flustered "You were just listening at the door weren't you" she smirked, they all nodded sheepishly "Good, because I really can't be bothered to explain" she laughed flopping herself back onto the sofa "Someone else talk now"

"Mark said 'Love you Mer' last week, I was leaving for work and he said it when I was walking out of our room, I don't know if he meant it as in, I love you like in a family way or love you as in 'I'm in love with you' I don't want to bring it up with him because then I could make a complete and utter fool out of myself if he doesn't love me in an 'in love' kind of way" Meredith rambled quickly.

"He's in love with you" Izzie nodded "He's been in love with you for months"

"How do you know this and I don't?" Meredith frowned.

"Because it's painfully obvious" Addison smirked.

"Not to me!" Meredith sighed.

"That's because your scary and damaged" said Cristina.

"He's not in love with me" Meredith said firmly "If he was he would've said something by now"

"Are you in love with him?" Callie asked curiously.

Meredith bit her lip nervously.

"She doesn't want to say it in front of me" Addison nodded "Meredith, I am over Mark, I have been for a very long time, so, are you in love with him or not?"

"Yeah, I think I am" Meredith sighed "Which is why I can't say it because if I say it and he doesn't say it back or if he says it because he feels like he has too I just, I don't want that for this baby, I want this baby to have parents who aren't scary and damaged"

"Meredith, he'll say it back" Izzie smiled.

"How do you know?"

"Because he told me" said Izzie "And I was not supposed to tell you that, crap"

"When did he tell you this?" Meredith asked curiously.

"After Denny, when I was on the bathroom floor"

"He lay down with you?"

"Yeah, you'd all gone back to the hospital, it was just me and him in the house….."

~x~

_***Flashback***_

"_I don't know what to say to you" Mark said as he lay next to Izzie staring at the ceiling "I don't really know you, I don't know what you're going through, I don't know what it feels like to grieve, not really"_

"_Do you love her?" Izzie asked quietly "Meredith, do you love her?"_

"_I do"_

"_Have you told her?"_

"_No"_

"_Tell her, tell her soon, tell her because you never know what's around the corner Mark, he's supposed to be here with me, he was supposed to live and we were supposed to get married and have children and be happy, you have a chance to do all of that with Meredith so please, tell her you love her"_

"_I will, I'll try but you have to promise me something, well, 2 things"_

"_OK"_

"_You need to seriously think about getting off this floor"_

"_I know"_

"_And you can't tell Meredith this happened"_

"_Ok, but you have to tell her"_

"_Ok" Mark nodded, he reached over and squeezed Izzie's hand before standing and backing out of the room._

~x~

"I can't believe he did that, that's so…."

"Un-Mark?" Addison finished.

"Yeah" Meredith laughed "I guess I need to tell him"

"Yep, you do" Izzie smiled.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	9. Chapter 9

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 9_

_~x~_

**2 weeks later.**

"Dr Grey-Sloan, can you tell me some of the common side effects a patient can suffer from after a craniotomy?" asked Derek.

"Severe headaches, seizures…." Meredith stopped and took a deep breath, her hand shot out to the arm of the nurse standing next to her as the world began to spin.

"Dr Grey-Sloan? Meredith, what's wrong?"

"I um, I, I"

"Someone page Dr Montgomery STAT" Derek shouted "It's ok Meredith, just breathe ok, breathe, Nurse, take her into the scrub room, get her sitting down ok, Meredith I'll come and find you later"

"Ok" Meredith nodded as the Nurse led her to the scrub room.

~x~

"What's going on! Are you alright? Is the baby ok? What happened?" Mark rambled as he burst into the room running straight over to the bed and kissing Meredith's hand repeatedly.

"Mark we're fine, everything's ok, I just got a little faint that's all" Meredith said calmly taking his hand in hers and rubbing his palm softly.

Mark looked over expectantly at Addison.

"What she said" Addison smirked "I'll give you both a minute" she smiled before walking out of the room.

"On the scale where is he?" Mark blurted.

"What?" Meredith asked with a smirk.

"On the scale, 1-10, where is he?"

"He's not on the scale, you are" Meredith replied quietly "What about her?"

"She's not on the scale, you are" he smiled kissing her softly "What number?" he mumbled into her lips.

"7" she replied.

He kissed her again "What about now?"

"8"

He kissed her again, as he pulled away he look in her eyes and asked a silent question.

"Mmm, 9" she smiled.

He kissed her again, this time with more passion, his tongue sliding into her mouth, after a few minutes he pulled away breathlessly "Now?" he breathed.

"10, definitely 10" she smiled.

"Good, because you're 10 on mine" he grinned.

"I love you"

"I love you too" he smiled kissing her softly.

"Sorry, interrupting something?" Derek stuttered as he stepped into the room "I um, just wanted to make sure you were ok, you gave everyone quite a scare….she was in my OR" he supplied to a confused Mark.

"We're fine, thank you" Meredith smiled "Just a little tired that's all"

"Good, good that's good, ok, so, I'll um, leave you to it"

"Yeah, bye Derek" Meredith smiled.

"Was he just _nice_?" Mark exclaimed.

"Yeah, I think he was" Meredith replied.

"I think we should find out the sex, of the baby, I want to choose names and decorate the nursery and buy stuff, so, can we, find out? Soon?" Mark grinned.

"You really wanna know?" she smirked.

"I do, I really do" he smiled.

"Ok, I'll book an appointment with Addison tomorrow" Meredith smiled.

"I love you" Mark said kissing her softly.

"I know, I love you too"

~x~

"You will _never_ guess what I just saw!" Mark grinned as he entered the exam room where Meredith lay waiting for her ultrasound.

"God, you are such a gossip" she laughed "Come on, you're obviously dying to tell someone"

"Looks like Addison and Karev take advantage of the on-call rooms" he grinned.

"Really?" Meredith smirked "Who are we to talk?" she laughed.

"Good morning Sloans" Addison smiled as she walked into the room, she took a seat next to the bed and instantly noticed Mark biting back a laugh.

"Whats going on guys? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing" Meredith smiled "Nothing at all"

"I don't believe you but, I won't ask, so, ready to find out the sex of the baby?" she smiled.

"Yes" Mark grinned happily.

"I don't like you this happy, it's weird" Addison smirked.

"Just do the ultrasound Addison" he sighed impatiently.

"OK, there it is, everything still looks very good and, yeah, ok, you have yourselves a little girl" Addison smiled.

"A girl?" Mark exclaimed.

"That's what I said Mark" Addison said rolling her eyes.

"We're having a girl" Mark grinned "Mer, we're having a girl"

"I heard" Meredith smirked "You have to stop with all the grinning, you're freaking me out"

"Sorry" he smiled sheepishly "Can't a man be happy?"

"You can, but the grinning is a little creepy" Meredith laughed "Now can someone get this goo of my stomach, this stuff is gross"

Addison laughed and grabbed some tissue, handing it over to Meredith.

"I'm really happy for you, really" Addison smiled.

"Thank you Addison" Mark smiled sincerely "Just one question, how's her blood pressure? She's been all stressy lately and after yesterday I'm a little worried"

"Ok, I am here y'know!" Meredith exclaimed "And I have not been stressy! Tell him Addison"

"I assure you Mark, she's fine, the baby is fine! You should count yourself lucky Meredith, I wish I had someone who cared that much about my blood pressure"

"I'm sure Karev has already helped you out with that this morning" Mark smirked.

"What? What do you know?" Addison asked quickly.

"Nothing, nothing, nothing at all, just, making a suggestion that's all" Mark smiled "I have to go and check on a patient" he said leaning over and kissing Meredith and then her bump, he walked over to Addison and leant over to her ear "You're hairs still sticking up at the back, get it sorted or people might think you've been doing something you shouldn't"

Addison's eyes widened, before she had a chance to reply he was out of the door.

"Word of advice Addie, if your going to do it in an on-call room make sure you don't walk out together" Meredith laughed.

"He saw us didn't he" Addison sighed.

"Yep" Meredith smiled "So, hows it going with Alex?"

"Great" Addison smiled "Really good, yeah, great"

"God look at you, all happy and loved up"

"Shut up" Addison laughed "Speaking of love?"

"Yesterday" Meredith smiled.

"That's great Mer, I really am happy for you both"

"How did we get here?"

"I know, this is just, so, unexpected"

"I want you to be involved y'know, I don't have any family other than the baby and Mark and well, the other interns, they're my family and now, so are you and Callie, I want you to be involved, be Aunty Addison, if you want to"

"Meredith, I'd love to" Addison smiled.

"Good, I'm glad" Meredith smiled back.

"Ok" Addison nodded "I should go and see my next patient, you need to take it easy, after yesterday, keep that niece of mine good and healthy"

"I'll try" Meredith laughed.

~x~

"S'up Incubator" Cristina smirked as Meredith waddled over to the lunch table.

"I guess that's better than Momma Bear" Meredith smirked back "I found out the sex of the baby today" she smiled.

"Get ready to pay up Bambi" said Alex.

"Oh you did _not _make bets on my child!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Oh just spit it out" said Cristina.

"It's a girl" Meredith grinned.

"Thank you!" George exclaimed "Pay up"

Alex and Cristina groaned and handed him $50 each.

"As you can see _I _didn't make a bet" said Izzie.

"Appreciate it Iz" Meredith laughed.

"It's a girl!" Izzie squealed "Ok, so we need to start getting things for the nursery, are we going with pink? I think we should go with pink, with white furniture oh and a rocking chair, can we get a rocking chair?"

"Should I be worried that you're more bothered by that stuff than me?" Meredith chuckled "We can get a rocking chair Iz, I'm putting you in charge of the nursery"

"Thank you!" Izzie grinned.

"Sloans credit card will be getting a bashing for sure" Alex smirked.

"I won't go overboard" said Izzie "I won't!" she exclaimed as they all looked at her skeptically.

~x~

"Hey beautiful" Mark smiled softly as Meredith walked into the living room, she sat herself on the sofa next to him and snuggled into his body.

"Hey" she sighed.

"How's my baby girl?"

"She's great" Meredith smiled "A lot of kicking going on in there today"

"What does it feel like? On the inside?"

"Like butterflies" she smiled softly "Sometimes like someone's tapping my stomach"

"Hmm" he sighed resting his head on the top of hers "I love you Mer"

"I love you too" she said squeezing him a little "Baby girl loves you"

"I love baby girl" he said with a small laugh placing a hand on her bump.

"I asked Addie to be Aunty Addison today"

"You did?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, she's part of the family now, weird huh?"

"A little" he laughed "But our family is weird"

"Weird and wonderful" she smiled.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~

**

* * *

IMPORTANT, I NEED HELP!**

**Hello my fantastic readers =D Basically my fanfic brain is not really working these days, especially in regards to Meredith/Addison! So from this point on I'm open to requests, if you have any scenarios, anything at all I'd love to hear them!**

**I'm looking for Meredith/Addison more than anything but I can do some Mer/Mark, I have **_**alot **_**of Addex one-shots in the works but if there's something you really want me to write then go ahead, suggest away! Oh and I am working on a Meredith/Alex fic so i'd be open to writing some one-shots if any of you want them.**

**Leave me comments on my fics or PM me! If I write something you've prompted the fic will be dedicated to you!**

**Thank you all, all my love, Kelly xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: OH MY GOD! It's been 2 months since I last updated this! Thank you to anyone who's been patiently waiting! I was having trouble with the original Chapter 10, I couldn't make it long enough, my brain was dying a little, so I've merged it with Chapter 11 so you're getting an extra long one (Y) I'll try and make the wait shorter next time! Reviews much appreciated =)**

**All my love, Kelly. X.**

_

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_

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 10_

_~x~_

**1 month later.**

"So….i'll see you tonight babe" Mark said sitting on the edge of the bed and kissing Meredith softly "You keep our girl safe"

"I hate this" Meredith muttered.

"I'll call you, whenever I can"

"Can't I just come and, I don't know, chart or something, anything"

"Mer we've been through this" Mark laughed.

"I know" Meredith mumbled.

"I love you" he said kissing her again.

"I love you too" she said softly, he stood up and went to leave the room "Uh-uh, you didn't say goodbye to the baby!"

"How could I forget?" he smirked, he moved back over to the bed, pulled the covers back and kissed her bump "I love you baby girl, you be good for you Mommy ok? Ok" he smiled "I'm really going this time Mer" he said kissing her again "Bye baby"

"Bye" she sighed.

~x~

"Meredith Grey-Sloan stop right there!" Meredith heard as she approached the hospital, she groaned and turned on her heel to face Bailey who stood with her hands on her hips "Dr Bailey" she said with a fake smile "How are you?"

"Meredith. Go. Home." Bailey said firmly walking up to her "You're on maternity leave, enjoy it"

"Hey, you kept coming back when you were on maternity leave"

"Because I had to keep my eye on you fools, you are still my intern, and I am telling you you need to go home"

"But…."

"Meredith" Bailey glared.

"Fine" Meredith sighed defeatedly "I'll go"

"Thank you" Bailey smiled.

~x~

"I hear you tried to break into the hospital today" Mark smirked leaning up against the doorway of their bedroom.

"Mark, I'm so bored" Meredith whined "I'm not used to being at home this much, I need to _do_ something"

"Get a head start on your studying, I'll come home and quiz you at the end of the day"

"Hmph" Meredith mumbled "I want surgeries"

"Well you can't have surgeries babe" he laughed climbing onto the bed "How about I run you a nice warm bath?"

"Ok" Meredith yawned.

Mark kissed her softly then jumped off the bed and walked into the bathroom "Babe do you want the…." he said walking briefly back into the room, he let out a laugh when he saw Meredith fast asleep, he grabbed the blanket from the chair by the window and covered her with it before kissing her cheek softly.

~x~

**1 month later.**

"Morning" Addison yawned walking into the kitchen.

"Hey" Meredith smiled.

"I hate work" Addison mumbled sitting down at the table and dropping her head to the table.

"I would kill to be working right about now" Meredith laughed "Maybe you should start getting some sleep"

"I do sleep!" Addison exclaimed.

"The noises coming from Alex's room last night, not sleeping" Meredith smirked.

"Oh god" Addison groaned covering her face "You could….oh god"

"Oh relax, it's not like we don't know you do it" Meredith laughed.

"Yeah but still…." Addison mumbled.

"You might as well check out of the hotel y'know"

"What?"

"I mean, obviously it would be up to you and Alex but, you haven't gone back there in at least 2 weeks, the bathroom is full of your stuff, you wear something different every day so you must have clothes here, I know you have a lot of money but you're kind of wasting it" Meredith shrugged.

"I've been wanting to get my own place actually" Addison smiled.

"Then check out, move your stuff in, and look for a place"

"I'll talk to Alex"

"Talk to me about what?" Alex yawned walking into the room and kissing Addison softly.

"I was just saying that Addison should move in here while she looks for her own place, save her paying for the hotel she never stays in"

"What's there to talk about?" Alex asked.

"Well I'd be moving in, with you" Addison said quietly.

"Fine by me" Alex grinned kissing her again.

~x~

**1 week later.**

"I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight" Addison said taking the TV controls from Mark.

"It's my TV, we're watching the game" he said taking the controls back.

"It's actually my TV" Meredith sighed.

"We're watching Entertainment Tonight" Addison said changing the channel.

"Addison" he whined "Meredith tell her"

"What? Your telling Mommy on me now?" Addison smirked.

"I am not Mommy in this little, whatever this is, god, you've been at this all week, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"She's always nagging me! It's like being back in med school when she was first dating Derek! Don't do this, don't do that, I want this, I want that" he mocked.

"Oh I am not that bad" Addison scoffed "Right Meredith?"

"How about we watch Entertainment Tonight and record the game?" Meredith suggested.

"But…." Mark started.

"I'm pulling the pregnant wife card" Meredith said simply.

"I hate you" Mark mumbled to Addison who merely stuck her tongue out at him.

~x~

**1 month later.**

"Mark!" Meredith hissed hitting him on the back.

"What?" he groaned into his pillow.

"Mark!" she said hitting him again.

"What!" he said looking up at her.

"My water just broke"

"Oh, oh my god, ok, um, stay there, I'll go and get Addison, stay there!" he said leaping up from the bed and bursting out of the room and into Alex's.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed as he saw a very naked Addison on top of a very naked Alex, he instantly cover his eyes with one hand and held a hand out in front of him "Um, sorry to interrupt but Mer's water just broke"

"Ok" Addison said scrambling to her feet, pulling the bed sheet with her "Go and get her in the car and I'll meet you there in 5 minutes"

"God you two are animals, it's 7:30 in the morning!" he smirked.

"Get out Mark!" Addison hissed.

Mark laughed and made his way back to Meredith.

"You just walked in on them having sex didn't you" Meredith chuckled as she pulled on some clothes.

"Uh-huh" Mark nodded "How are you feeling?"

"Um, ok, at the minute, can you help me put on my shoes?"

"Yeah" Mark laughed, he knelt down in front of her and put her shoes on, he stood up and took her hand.

"Oww! Sweet Jesus!" Meredith exclaimed as a contraction hit her, her hand shooting towards her stomach, the other squeezing tightly onto Mark's hand "Fuck that hurt" she grumbled.

"You gonna kiss your child with that mouth?" Mark smirked.

"Hey! You're not the one that's going to be pushing a bowling ball out of her vagina!" Meredith snapped.

"I'd do it for you if I could" Mark smiled kissing her forehead softly "Come on, lets get you to the car"

"Where's the overnight bag?" Meredith asked quickly.

"By the front door, we've had it packed and waiting there for the last 2 weeks Meredith" Mark smiled "You're panicking, I get it but everything is going to be fine, the baby will be here before you know it"

~x~

**6 hours later.**

"Can't you just do a c-section, y'know, slice me open, pull her out?" Meredith said to Addison as she paced her hospital room.

"Meredith, you know I won't do that unless it's completely necessary and you wanted a natural birth"

"I'm two centimeters dilated Addison, TWO! I've been here for 6 freakin' hours, I just want her out"

"I know you do honey" Addison smiled "She'll come, eventually"

"Oh god" Meredith groaned as another contraction hit her, she gripped onto the edge of the bed and panted through the pain "I hate this"

"I know" Addison said rubbing her back softly "It'll be worth it I promise"

"Really? Because at the minute I'm not so sure"

"It will be, you're just nervous"

"I know" Meredith sighed hoisting herself back up onto the bed with support from Addison.

"Hey honey" Mark smiled "How are my girls?"

"Tired" Meredith sighed.

"How many centimeters are we at?" Mark asked hopefully.

"Two" Addison and Meredith sighed.

"Oh" Mark said simply "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure Mark" Addison sighed "I have to go and check on some other patients, I'll be back in an hour to check on you ok?"

"Yeah, ok" Meredith sighed.

~x~

**6 hours later.**

"I've been at this for 12 hours, I'm tired, I've had next to no sleep, please tell me I'm nearly there, please" Meredith begged.

Addison sighed "I'm sorry Meredith, you're still only four centimeters dilated"

"Oh for the love of god!" Meredith groaned "Why doesn't she want to come out! She hates me already, that's it, she knows I'll be bad at this, I'll be just like my mother, that's it, she wants to stay inside me, it's a lot safer in there, not so dark and twisty, she hates me already"

"Meredith, you're being neurotic, you're hormonal and tired, try and get some rest" Addison smiled softly.

"You try and get some rest when you have a tiny person kicking your insides out. Oh and to add more fuel to the fire, contractions, stupid stupid contractions, this is all Mark's fault, him and his stupid boy penis, stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not laughing!" Addison exclaimed.

"Where's Mark, I want Mark"

"He's giving everyone an update, he'll be back soon"

"This hurts, why didn't you tell me this hurts?"

"I did tell you! You've been to med school Mer, you've watched deliveries, you know this hurts you just have to breathe through it"

"Breathe through it, if I breathe anymore I'm going to hyperventilate!" Meredith snapped.

"Wow, your bitchy when your in labour" Cristina smirked as she entered the room "How's it going Supermom?"

"Four centimeters" Meredith groaned.

"Four! Just four! Seriously! You've been here 12 hours!"

"Not helping Yang" Addison said dryly "I have to go and check on some patients, you'll stay with her?"

"I've got it" Cristina nodded.

"Cristina why won't she come out!" Meredith whined.

"She'll come eventually, so stop your whining and try and sleep"

"Until you do this you can't judge me" Meredith hissed.

"Oh shut it"

~x~

**Another 6 hours later.**

"7 centimeters" Addison said looking up at Meredith.

"I'm going to pretend you did not just say that, I'm not thinking about this anymore" Meredith sighed "Talk to me, tell me something not baby related, anything"

"Alex told me he was in love with me" Addison blurted quickly.

"What? When? What did you say?"

"It was a few hours ago, we were in the NICU and he just said it, and I froze, he mumbled something and walked out, I think he feels embarrassed"

"Well, are you in love with him?"

"Yeah, yeah I think I am but I can't be can I? We've only been together for 4 months"

"Erm hello! Me and Mark didn't take that much longer to say it, you're in love with him Addie, go and tell him"

"Hey Mer I, oh um, I'll come back later" Alex stuttered.

"No Alex wait!" Addison said quickly.

"What?"

"I love you too" she said quietly.

"But you just…."

"I froze, I know I did but you just took me by surprise but Alex I love you, I swear I do, I'm in love with you"

"This is the part where you kiss" Meredith gestured, Alex walked purposely across the room and planted a kiss on Addison's lips.

"I love you" he smiled.

"I love you too" she smiled back.

"See, this is what I need!" Meredith exclaimed "Distractions"

"I'm guessing we're still not there?" Alex frowned.

"3 more centimeters to go" Addison smiled "It won't be long Meredith"

"You said that 18 hours ago" Meredith grumbled.

"Hey" Mark smiled walking into the room "I've told the Chief that I'm not leaving you again, I don't care what's going on out there, how's it going?"

"7 centimeters" Meredith sighed "I just want her here now"

"I know, me too babe, me too"

~x~

**9 hours later.**

"Hey" Addison said softly as she walked into Meredith's room "How's it going?"

"She's finally sleeping" Mark said quietly "This is really taking it out of her"

"The baby will come eventually, if there were problems, if she was in distress I'd get her out but she's not and Meredith wanted a natural birth so we just have to wait"

"I know" Mark sighed "This is getting ridiculous though, she's still only 8 centimeters"

"I know, it will happen Mark"

~x~

**3 hours later.**

"Ok, we're ready, 10 centimeters, it's time Meredith" Addison smiled.

"It's time?" Meredith panted.

"Yeah, it's time" Addison nodded.

"She's coming Mer" Mark smiled kissing her softly "Where do you want me?"

"Here" Meredith said patting the edge of the bed, he pulled up a chair and gave her his hand.

"Ok, Meredith, on your next contraction I want you to push ok?" Addison asked.

"Ok" Meredith nodded, she groaned loudly as she pushed with all of her might.

"That's good Meredith, I can see the head, push when your ready"

Meredith squeezed Mark's hand tightly as she pushed hard.

"That's it Meredith keep going"

"I can't" Meredith sighed defeatedly.

"Yes you can you're doing really well, isn't she Mark?"

"You're doing great honey, ok, you need to push again"

"I hate you, why can't you do this for me?" Meredith groaned, she pushed hard again.

"Ok, the heads out, once we're past the shoulders it'll be a piece of cake, so one last push Meredith, you really need to go for it"

"Ok, I'm ready, I can do this" Meredith panted "I can do this"

Meredith screamed loudly as she pushed one more time, the sound of cries filled the room.

"She's beautiful guys" Addison smiled, she quickly cleared her nose and wiped her face and placed her on Meredith's chest.

"She's here" Meredith cried "She's really here"

"Do we have a name?" Addison smiled.

"Madeline, Madeline Keira Sloan" Meredith said softly.

"I thought we were going with Grey-Sloan, so she was like you" said Mark.

"She will be like me" Meredith smiled.

"What d'you mean?"

"I'm changing my name Mark, officially, I want to be Meredith Sloan"

Mark grinned down at her "I love you"

"I love you too" Meredith said kissing him softly.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: HI! Yes I am still alive! I know I've been sucky at updating this fic but here it is, I'll try and be a lot quicker with the next update =)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**xxx**

**

* * *

**

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 11_

_~x~_

**2 weeks later.**

"Coming, I'm coming" Mark shouted as the door was knocked repeatedly, he swung it open and froze "Momma Shepherd, what are you doing here?" he stuttered.

"I could say the same about you Mark Sloan, well, are you going to let me in or not?"

"I um, yeah, come on in, uh, how did you know where to find me?"

Carolyn reached out and smacked Mark on the back of the head "OW! Jeez Mom what was that for?" Mark cried.

"That was for getting married" she hit him again "That was for not telling anyone" another hit "That was for not calling" one last hit "And that was for having a child without telling me!"

"Ok, ok, I guess I deserved that, why don't we go into the kitchen?" he said walking away from her.

"So Mark, where are this wife and child of yours?"

"They're still asleep, you know what they say, when the baby sleeps…."

"Of course" Carolyn nodded.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"Well, I was here to check up on you and Derek and I had to find out from some nurse that you were not going to be in for another week because your wife had a baby, how do you think that makes me feel Mark, a nurse knew before me that my own son has a wife and child!"

"She tell you about Vegas too?"

"Vegas?"

"She didn't tell you about Vegas, ah, right, ok then" Mark said as he walked over to the table with 2 coffees "Me and Meredith, we met in Vegas nearly 4 years ago, we got drunk, we got married, we didn't see each other again"

"Oh Mark" Carolyn sighed.

"Wait, it gets better" Mark smirked "I wanted to come out to Seattle to, to get Addison back, wait I know what you're going to say, I know, bad idea, I know that now, a week before I left I read an article about Meredith's mother, Ellis Grey, she was one of the best surgeons in the world, it said that Meredith was working in Seattle so I flew out, we were going to get a divorce but then to throw another spanner into the works it turns out that Meredith, is Derek's ex-girlfriend"

"Wait! What? The girl he met before Addison came out here? The intern?"

"Yeah, that would be the one"

"Wow, you boys get yourselves into some messes I have to say"

"I know. He still won't talk to me Mom, not properly, it's getting better but, I just don't think we can get past this"

"You're brothers Mark, it might not be by blood but you are brothers, you'll get through it eventually"

"I hope so" Mark nodded.

"Morning Mark" Addison yawned as she walked into the kitchen "Morning Mrs Shepherd" she yawned again rubbing her eyes, she suddenly froze in front of the coffee machine and turned back to face them "Mrs Shepherd?"

"Addison, what are you doing here?" Carolyn exclaimed.

"I um, I live here, for now anyway, um, what are you doing here?"

"Giving Mark a piece of my mind"

"He didn't tell you about Meredith and the baby" Addison nodded "Why does that not surprise me"

"So, you're living with Mark and Meredith?"

"I um…." Addison stuttered.

"Addison, stop leaving me in bed on my own, it gets cold and then I have to get up early to come and find you" Alex whined as he walked into the kitchen, instantly walking over to Addison and kissing her forehead "Morning beautiful"

"Morning honey, erm, there's someone you should meet, Alex this is Carolyn Shepherd, Carolyn this is Alex Karev, technically I'm living with him"

"Oh, well, nice to meet you Alex"

"Nice to meet you too" Alex smiled "Wait! Shepherd as in, Shepherd Shepherd?"

"Yes Alex, Shepherd as in Shepherd Shepherd" Addison sighed rolling her eyes.

"Wow, because this isn't awkward" Alex smirked "I think maybe I should call Cristina"

"Erm, why?" Mark asked.

"Because, she's Meredith's person, and Meredith is going to freak out, because she's the Queen of parental abandonment issues and this, meeting the parents thing and not just any parent _Shepherds _parent, she'll freak out, so seriously, call Cristina"

Mark chuckled "I'll call if need be"

"Put her on speed dial, that's all I'm saying" Alex smirked "You coming back to bed?"

"No, Alex you have rounds in….an hour" Addison said looking at the clock "If you're late Bailey will blame me so go, upstairs, get the shower before Izzie does"

"You're right" Alex smiled kissing Addison on the cheek "I love you"

"I love you too now go, upstairs, washed, dressed, quickly, now!"

"This is when I hate the fact that you're my boss" Alex grumbled as he backed out of the kitchen.

"Could you be any bossier Addie?" Mark laughed.

"Shut up Mark" Addison groaned "Bailey will be on my back if he's late again, I'm starting to wish I didn't tell them about us"

"We're Bailey's bosses, she can't tell you off"

"Bailey is Alex's boss and Bailey is Bailey, didn't Meredith tell you all this when you first moved here?"

"Yeah, I know, Miranda Bailey rules all"

"See, you can listen" Meredith laughed as she walked into the room Madeline lying against her chest "Oh, if you'd have told me we had company I would've gotten dressed" Meredith grimaced.

"It's ok dear" Carolyn smiled "I've had 5 kids of my own, 6 if you include Mark"

"Oh" Meredith stuttered "Your Mark's mother, so that means your, oh"

"_Alex get out of the shower!" Izzie shouted as she banged on the bathroom door "Hurry up!"_

"I think I'll go and diffuse that before it gets worse" Addison laughed "Won't be long" she patted Meredith on the back and leaned into her ear "Breathe Meredith, you'll be fine"

"So, do I get to meet my granddaughter or not?" Carolyn smiled.

"Of course" Meredith said handing her over "This is Madeline Keira Sloan, we call her Maddie, oh and I'm Meredith"

"Carolyn"

"So, how long are you in town for?"

"I don't know, a few days at least" Carolyn smiled "She is precious, how was the labour?"

"Ma don't ask loads of questions, she's not one of the girls"

"It's fine Mark" Meredith smiled "The labour was, tough, what was it 29 hours?"

"30" Addison said as she walked back into the room "It was 30 hours Meredith, you were the longest that week"

"Don't remind me" Meredith muttered.

"She's going to be a stubborn one" Carolyn cooed as she stroked Madeline's cheek softly.

"That is all Mark" Meredith grinned.

"I'm not stubborn!" Mark exclaimed.

"I beg to differ" Carolyn smirked.

"I agree" Addison nodded.

"What is this 'Pick on Mark' day?" Mark moaned.

"Oh shut your whining" said Meredith.

"Good Morning" Izzie grinned as she walked into the kitchen.

"How can you go from screaming at Alex through the bathroom door to this" Addison said waving her arms in Izzie's direction.

"Carolyn this is our other housemate Izzie Stevens, Izzie this is Carolyn Shepherd" Meredith smiled.

"Wait! Shepherd as in, Shepherd Shepherd?" Izzie asked wide eyed.

"That's the second time this morning I've got that reaction" Carolyn chuckled.

"Sorry, um, hi, nice to meet you" Izzie smiled "I always forget that Mark knew you all before he came out here"

"Well it seems Mark forgot he knew us too"

"Mom I'm sorry, I know I should've called, I just didn't think you'd want to speak to me after what I did"

"Ditto" said Addison.

"I have to admit I was furious, with both of you, how could you be so stupid?" Carolyn exclaimed.

"Derek wasn't there for me, he was cold and distant and he, he just wasn't Derek and I was lonely and I know, I know it sounds like an excuse but I just wanted attention and Mark was there, he was the one who brought me dinner and looked after me and it was stupid and it shouldn't have happened but when Derek, walked in, it was the first time and I hate that I did that, it was stupid, so so stupid"

"You 3 need your heads banging together" Carolyn muttered.

"Oh believe me, we've tried" Izzie laughed "No offense but Derek's been a bit of an ass"

"Guys can you really blame him?" Meredith sighed "We did this"

"No. No Meredith, you are not blaming yourself, don't you dare!" Mark exclaimed.

"I'm not blaming myself per say, I just, well, we all screwed up, all 4 of us"

"We did" Addison nodded "He'll come around eventually, he's coming around already he just doesn't know how to make the move, the ball is in his court"

"I'll give him a piece of my mind don't you worry" Carolyn laughed "So, your all friends now?"

"Yeah, we know, weird right?" Meredith laughed.

"It is a little weird I have to say" Carolyn nodded.

"It took us a while" said Addison "But, we got there and me getting with Alex certainly helped a lot"

"Yeah, we haven't been able to get rid of her since they got together" Mark laughed.

"Shut up" Addison groaned "I'm looking into apartments anyway so I'll be out of your hair soon"

"Take Alex with you, please" Izzie begged "He's driving me crazy, he uses all the hot water"

"She moaning about me again?" Alex smirked "Showers free Barbie"

"Thank you Dr Evil Spawn" Izzie grimaced "If we're late for rounds I'm blaming you" she shouted over her shoulder.

"Stop trying to wind her up Alex" Addison said hitting him on the arm.

"It's just too easy" he grinned "What time are you coming in?"

"Start at 11, my pre-ops better be ready by the time I get there"

"Hey, you can nag me at work but at home, no, not happening" he laughed.

"I don't nag!" Addison pouted.

"Oh, you do" Mark laughed.

"Yeah, they're right" Meredith giggled.

"What happened to sisterhood Meredith?"

"It's ok, I love you despite the nagging" Alex said quickly stealing a kiss.

"Ass"

"Bitch"

"Evil Spawn"

"Satan"

"You're insufferable"

"Izzie won't be ready for another 15 minutes"

Addison grinned and grabbed Alex's hand running quickly from the kitchen and up the stairs.

"What the hell was that?" Carolyn gawped.

"Trust me. You don't want to know" Mark laughed.

~x~

15 minutes later and Izzie was pacing back and forth across the kitchen.

"Iz, you ok?" Meredith asked carefully.

"We're going to be late" Izzie whined.

"Bailey will blame Addie, chill out Stevens" said Mark.

"Ready to go Iz?" Alex said walking back into the room throwing his jacket on.

Izzie shot him a glare "See you all later" she said walking out of the kitchen.

"Bye Izzie" Meredith smiled.

"See you later guys" Alex said turning to leave, Addison walked straight into him as she burst back into the kitchen "See you later beautiful" Alex smiled.

"Yeah, bye honey" Addison said kissing him quickly "I love you"

"I love you too, bye guys"

"Bye Alex"

Addison watched Alex leave the room sighing with a huge smile on her face, she grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat herself down at the table.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" she laughed nervously.

"I swear you too are like a couple of horny teenagers" Mark chuckled.

"MARK!" Addison screeched hitting him on the arm.

"She's in love Mark, leave her alone" Meredith said patting his arm, she now had Maddie lying in her arms.

"You do look happy Addison" Carolyn smiled.

"I am, I am happy" Addison nodded.

"He's been your Knight in Shining Armor hasn't he" Meredith grinned.

"Not quite the analogy I'd use but yes, he has"

"Right, I'm going to grab a shower, I want to go to the hospital today" Meredith said standing up and handing Maddie over to Mark.

"Why?" asked Mark.

"Because Cristina's been practically living there for the past week and I want to see her and I really want to watch a surgery, like right in front of me not one of my Mom's surgical tapes"

"But…."

"No Mark, I need to get out of this house and you should check on your patients"

"Fine, ok, we'll go"

"I'm coming too, I need to see that son of mine"

"I thought you said you went to the hospital today?"

"He was in surgery so I asked about you"

"And then you came here to kick my ass, ok, right, Addie will you give her a bottle, Mer made some up last night"

"Sure, come on Maddie, come to your Aunty Addison" she smiled taking Maddie in her arms "You are beautiful aren't you, yes you are, yes you are" Addison cooed.

"She does this a lot" Mark smirked "You wouldn't think she worked with babies all day"

"Hey! This is different, this is my niece, isn't that right Maddie"

"Right, I'll be back in a minute, then we'll go to the hospital" Mark groaned.

"So…." Carolyn started "How are you Addison?"

"I'm good really good, great" Addison smiled as she walked over to the refrigerator pulling out a bottle of milk, she popped the lid off and began to feed Maddie, she walked back over to the table and sat down "How are the girls?"

"They're good" Carolyn smiled "Missing their brother"

"Carolyn I'm so sorry" Addison sighed "This is all my fault"

"Like Meredith said earlier, you've all made mistakes, I'll admit I did want to kill you for doing that to Derek but by the sound of it he wasn't very good to you"

"Yeah but sleeping with Mark wasn't the best way to tell him that, _staying _with Mark wasn't the best way to tell him that" said Addison "We tried to work it out Carolyn we really did but he was just so focused on Meredith and Mark and I just couldn't take it anymore, I will _always _love him but I fell out of love with him a long time ago"

"I know, I know, you need to stop blaming yourself"

"It's hard when all he does is blame me" Addison sighed "Ugh, lets not talk about this, Maddie doesn't need her brain washed with my negative thoughts do you honey?"

"She's so cute" Carolyn smiled.

"She is isn't she" Addison smiled.

"So, you and Alex, is it serious?"

"I think so, well, I know that I love him and that he loves me but I think we're both scared"

"Why would you be scared?"

"Well, he used to be a bit of a mini-Mark, not that Mark is like that at all anymore but it just makes me nervous, I just don't want another failed relationship, I can't deal with that, I want a proper future"

"He adores you Addie, I can see it in his eyes"

"You think?"

"I know" Carolyn said softly.

"Thank you Carolyn, y'know, for not killing me"

"That's quite alright dear" Carolyn laughed.

~x~

"Meredith?" Derek asked as he stepped into the gallery "What are you doing here?"

"Watching a surgery" she replied not looking away from the glass.

"Obviously, but why? Shouldn't you be at home, resting"

"I'm sick of resting, I needed to get out of that house and…."

"And?"

"And I'm hiding from your mother"

"Oh" Derek chuckled "Me too"

Meredith looked up at him and smiled, he walked over and took a seat next to Meredith, propping his feet up on the window ledge, his legs bending at the knee.

"She's nice though" Meredith smiled "Your mother, she's really, nice, she's a proper Mom y'know? But I have the whole parental abandonment thing and it's all a bit…."

"Much" Derek finished "I know….can I…."

"What?"

"Can I um, hold her?" he said glancing at Maddie who lay against Meredith's chest.

"Yeah, sure" Meredith smiled, she slowly passed the baby over to him.

"She's beautiful" Derek smiled "How's motherhood?"

"Good, great, well, tiring but I have a lot of help so, it's ok"

"Yeah, you have a full house"

"Tell me about it" Meredith smirked "I like it though, having them all there, never a dull moment"

"Yeah" Derek sighed "When did this get so hard?"

"What?"

"Talking to you, it used to be so easy"

"Until your secret wife showed up, did you really think it was ever going to get back to normal Derek?"

"I hoped it would but then, your secret husband showed up"

"I know you Derek, this isn't about the fact that I had a husband because you know that it was different, I hadn't been married to him for 11 years, you couldn't even call it a marriage, the reason you're finding this so hard is because my husband, is Mark"

"You're right, you do know me" Derek chuckled.

"They could be your friends again y'know, Mark and Addison, they love you Derek, they're your family"

"They were my family. I don't know if I can forgive them. I don't know how to"

"They understand that Derek, they get it but you know that in the end, the divorce, it's kind of your fault"

"I know" Derek nodded "I know, I just, I don't know what to do Meredith, they've both moved on and I'm stuck, I'm just stuck"

"Talk to them, not anything to heavy just, say hello, just be yourself, be the man I knew before"

"I'll try"

"That's all I'm asking" Meredith smiled "She likes you" she grinned looking at Maddie laying comfortably against Derek's chest.

"She has your eyes and mouth but that's the Sloan nose" he smiled "I really am happy for you"

"Thank you, that means a lot Derek"

"I should go, I have patients" Derek said sitting up, holding Maddie against him, he lifted her and placed her back in Meredith's arms, he leaned over and kissed Meredith's cheek "Does this mean we're friends again?"

"If you accept that Mark and Addison are part of my life now then yes, we can be friends again"

"I really will try Meredith"

"I know" Meredith smiled "Goodbye Derek"

"Goodbye Meredith"

~x~

"Guess what I did" Meredith almost sang as she joined Mark and Carolyn in the cafeteria.

"What?" Mark smirked.

"Talked to Derek" she smiled.

"Oh yeah?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah" she smiled "He came up to the gallery, we talked, he wanted to hold Maddie, she really liked him I think and he says he's going to try to y'know, be friends with us again, all of us"

"See _this _is why I love you Mrs Sloan" Mark said kissing her softly.

"She's a keeper" Carolyn smiled.

"Definitely" Mark smiled.

"Thanks" Meredith said with a laugh "Anyway, your patients ok?"

"Yeah" Mark smiled "All good"

"Good" Meredith smiled "Here, take Maddie so I can go and get some food"

"Hey baby girl" Mark smiled accepting her in his arms.

"Be right back" Meredith smiled kissing Mark and then the top of Maddie's head before leaving.

"She's good for you" Carolyn said softly.

"Yeah" Mark smiled "She really is"

"Don't screw it up"

"Wha…."

"Mark, you've screwed up every good thing in your life, and that may sound harsh but it's true, so when things get tough, because there are always tough times in a marriage, always, when things get tough don't lash out, don't do something stupid, do not cheat on her" she said firmly.

"I won't Mom, I promise" Mark said quietly "The only reason I was the way I was was because I didn't feel good enough, like I didn't deserve a family, and at first me and Meredith were just messing around with the whole marriage thing, but then she got pregnant and, we had to grow up, we had to either be married, be a family, or be friends, and we chose family, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me"

"I'm proud of you Mark Sloan"

"Y'know what Mom, I'm proud of me too" Mark smiled.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know I'm supposed to be on a writing break but I was looking through my fanfiction folders and I found this already finished, I have no idea why I didn't post it! If anyone is still reading I hope you enjoy it **

**Kelly.**

**

* * *

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_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
__Chapter 12_

_~x~_

**3 months later.**

"Mark" Addison said quietly pulling him to one side in one of the hallways.

"Hey Addie, what's up?" he smiled.

"What's Meredith's fathers name?" she asked.

"Erm, Thatcher I think, she doesn't ever talk about him, why?" Mark frowned.

"Because I've just had a Molly Grey-Thompson admitted for a c-section and her fathers name is Thatcher Grey and he's here so, I just, I thought I should check y'know"

"He, he has another daughter" Mark stuttered.

"From what I've overheard he has 2, and a wife, Susan"

"Crap" Mark sighed "Right, just, just keep her away until I can tell her"

"Sure" Addison nodded "So she, doesn't know?"

"She hasn't spoken to him since he left her when she was 5 years old" Mark grumbled "Can I go and kill him?"

"No Mark" Addison said with a laugh "Calm, if you freak out she'll freak out" Mark raised an eyebrow at her "Ok so she'll freak out twice as bad if you freak out but, you need to tell her, I can keep it quiet for now but O'Malley's on the case and if he works it out then…."

"He'll slip up and tell her I know, right, well, thanks for telling me" Mark sighed.

~x~

"Mer I…." Mark started as he approached her.

"I think I just saw my father" Meredith said as she held Maddie against her.

"You did" Mark sighed.

"What!" Meredith said with a nervous laugh.

"Sit down" Mark said pulling her onto a nearby chair in the waiting area "Addison just came and spoke to me, he, his daughter, Molly Grey-Thompson, she's just been admitted, and she said she overheard them talking about another daughter and his, his wife is here, her name is Susan"

"He, he has a wife and, and 2 daughters" Meredith stuttered.

"Yeah" Mark sighed.

"And he's here?" she asked slowly.

"Yes" Mark said squeezing her hand "But he doesn't need to know you're here, you're Dr Sloan anyway so…."

"Right, right I know, I know" Meredith stuttered "I'm ok"

"You're ok?"

"I'm ok" Meredith sighed.

~x~

Meredith didn't know why she was there but she stood outside of Molly Grey-Thompson's room rocking Maddie in her BabyBjörn, she didn't count on Addison spotting her and gesturing for her to come in, she took a deep breath and entered.

"Uh, Molly this is, Dr Sloan" Addison smiled "She's going to be continuing your prep work and taking your vitals ok?"

"Ok" Molly smiled.

"Do you want to…." Meredith started gesturing at Maddie.

"Of course" Addison said transferring the BabyBjörn onto herself "You would love to spend some time with your Aunt Addison wouldn't you Maddie" she grinned.

"She would" Meredith laughed.

"Right well, I'll be back later" Addison said giving Meredith a reassuring smile before leaving.

"Hi" Meredith said looking at Molly.

"Hey"

"Uh, do you mind if I uh" Meredith said grabbing the blood pressure cuff and gesturing to her arm.

"No, it's fine. I'm getting used to being poked and prodded"

"Know the feeling" Meredith laughed putting the cuff on.

"How old is she?"

"3 and a half months" Meredith smiled softly.

"She's beautiful"

"Thanks" Meredith smiled.

"Does she come with you every day? I uh, sorry, I'm asking questions, I just, I do that when I'm nervous"

"Don't worry, it's fine" Meredith laughed "I do that too sometimes, I uh, yeah, I don't work every day but I'm here most days anyway, I'd have more time off but I'm an intern and my exam is in 2 weeks, I need to study, my husband works here, all my friends work here, I'd rather hang around here all day than at home on my own"

"You have a point" Molly laughed "How long have you been married?"

"A little over 4 years" Meredith smiled softly "How about you? That's a pretty ring"

"Oh, thanks. It was my grandma's and then my mom's" Meredith nods looking slightly uncomfortable which Molly notices "You think I'm too young to be married"

"No" Meredith said shaking her head a little "I probably wasn't too much older myself"

"Everybody thinks I'm too young. If I saw me I'd think I was too young"

"Um, how old are you?"

"23" Molly replies, Meredith nods slightly teary eyed "Eric's 24 and he's in the army and he was getting shipped out and I just love him so much you know? Anyway, I proposed"

"Oh" Meredith said finally removing the cuff "And your ah parents, they approve?"

"Oh my parents are amazing. You know how Dad's can be. Mine's pretty over-protective" Meredith took out Molly's chart to write down the results "But you know at my wedding when he gave me away, my dad cried. Which was….I've never seen my dad cry before" Meredith nodded again, she could feel tears building in her eyes "But, I think it was also kind of weird for him because I'm his little girl. You know because I'm the youngest and my sister is nowhere near ready for marriage. But it was good crying, like he was proud of me, you know? I'm sorry, I just, I'm nervous so I'm talking"

"No that's okay. You have a sister?"

"Yeah, Lexie. She's in medical school. Harvard. She's the smart one. You should see how my dad is about her. He's like crazy proud"

"Right well I'm gonna go" Meredith sighed.

"Dr Sloan?"

"Mmm?"

"This is going to be ok right? The c-section?"

"Dr Montgomery's the best in the business, you're going to be just fine" Meredith said softly before leaving.

~x~

"Uh, can I uh, have Maddie" Meredith stuttered in an almost whisper approaching Addison at the nurses station, Addison looked up and saw the tears in Meredith's eyes.

"Come on, let's go somewhere quiet" Addison said standing up and leading them to an empty on-call room, Meredith took Maddie from the BabyBjörn and sat her on her lap as they sat on the bed.

"I shouldn't have let you go in there" Addison said softly.

"No, no I'm, I'm glad you did" Meredith sighed "I needed to know"

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"It's not really my place. His daughters about to have surgery"

"You're his daughter too Meredith"

"I haven't seen him in 21 years" Meredith whispered disbelievingly "21 years Addison, I'm not his daughter, he's not my Dad, he's just the guy who poured my cereal in the morning, that's all I remember, that and the day me and my Mom moved to Boston, the day she told me I would never see my Dad again and, I thought he'd fight y'know, I know she was a hard-ass but, he should have fought for me and now, now I find out he has a new family, her sisters in her last year of med school Addison, he moved on pretty quickly"

"Just be prepared to see him Meredith, even if it's by accident"

"He probably won't even recognize me"

"Yeah, maybe" Addison sighed "You gonna be ok?"

"I'll be fine" Meredith sighed "We'll be fine won't we Maddie?" Maddie let out a gurgle "Yeah, we'll be just fine"

~x~

Meredith succeeded in avoiding any contact with her father or his family for the rest of the day, she told all of her friends about them being there and they were all supportive, especially Mark of course, but then it was the next day and rounds had begun, Maddie was spending the majority of the day with Mark.

"Dr Sloan, present" said Dr Bailey.

"Molly Grey-Thompson, 23, post-op cesarean section, on initial exam everything looks good and…." Meredith froze as Thatcher walked into the room, everyone looked at her with a worried glance "And…." she stuttered, he caught her eye, his eyes widened considerably as he recognized her "And….And shows….And shows..."

Cristina grabbed the chart from her "And shows no signs of complications, Laura Grey-Thompson is in the nursery and is developing well"

Meredith couldn't stop herself from choking out a sob before running from the room, Cristina thrust the chart at Alex and ran straight after her.

"Is something wrong?" Molly frowned "Dad?"

"I, I should go and…." he said taking a step backwards.

"Don't you _even _think about it Mr Grey" Addison said firmly "You need to explain to Molly and I need to go and find my interns" Addison said pushing past him.

"We'll give you a minute" Dr Bailey said leading the rest of the interns out of the room, all of them shooting Thatcher dirty glances.

~x~

"Mered…." Addison stopped as she entered the women's bathroom to see Cristina leaning up against the sinks "How is she?"

"I'm fine" Meredith shouted out of one of the stalls.

"You froze on rounds and now you've locked yourself in the women's bathroom, of course your fine" Cristina said rolling her eyes, Meredith sighed and stepped out of the stall.

"I'm sorry Addie, for freezing I, I just didn't expect him to be there"

"By the look on his face I don't think he expected it either" Cristina snorted.

"It's fine Meredith" Addison said softly "I understand"

"He, he looks exactly the same" Meredith sighed wiping her eyes "He looks older obviously but, he looks exactly the same, the guy who poured my cereal was in that room, oh god, Molly is she…."

"Confused" Addison nodded "But he's explaining now, well, at least I hope he is, I told him too anyway"

"Right well, I'm fine now" Meredith said taking a deep breath "I'm fine, I'm gonna go, find Mark and Maddie"

"You gonna be ok?" asked Cristina.

"I'm fine" Meredith said with a small smile.

~x~

"Hey" Mark said softly as Meredith found him at one of the nurses stations "Karev told me what happened, you ok?"

"I could use a hug from my husband right about now" Meredith mumbled, Mark let out a small laugh and pulled her into his arms, her face level with Maddie's "Hey baby girl" she grinned, Maddie reached out and touched her nose "Nice to see you too" she laughed, Mark pressed a kiss onto the top of her head "You sure your ok babe?"

"I'll be fine" Meredith smiled "I'm fine"

"Meredith fine or fine fine?"

"Fine fine" Meredith laughed "I have to go but, I love you" she said kissing Maddie on the forehead "And you" she smiled kissing Mark quickly.

"We love you too" Mark smiled.

~x~

"I saw a picture once, from a long time ago"

Meredith froze on the spot at the voice.

"You look just like her"

Meredith turned around.

"Your mother. You look a lot like my girls. Especially Molly. She said you spoke to her yesterday"

"I didn't say anything about anything" Meredith said quickly "But then I guess she knows it all now huh"

"Oh she knew about you already. Or she knew that her father was married before and had another daughter. Has another daughter"

"No, had is right" Meredith said firmly.

"Your father thinks about you. He thinks about you a lot. He just, your mother, your mother, she broke him"

"Yeah" Meredith sighed with teary eyes "Well he broke me and, and I'm only just putting myself back together, so don't try and be my family, I have one of my own now, and I wouldn't even _dream_ of leaving my daughter all alone like he did with me, so don't try and be his knight in shining whatever, he could have fought for me, he could have fought for me and he didn't" Meredith said walking away.

~x~

"Hello my angel" Meredith grinned taking Maddie out of her stroller and holding her out in front of her "And how are you? Did you have fun with Daddy today?"

Maddie blew a spit bubble "That good huh?" Meredith laughed, she pulled a bottle from the bottle warmer baby bag and adjusted her in her arms to feed her.

"She looks just like you did at that age"

Meredith took in a sharp intake of breath at the voice that came from behind her "I would really appreciate it if you left me and my daughter to have lunch alone"

"I just spoke to Richard, he told me about your Mom, I'm sorry"

"Don't pretend you care"

"Of course I care" Thatcher sighed taking a seat in front of her.

"Please, take a seat" Meredith said dryly.

"I just want you to know that I am sorry Meredith, I should have fought for you, I know that"

"Your wife told you to speak to me didn't she" Meredith sighed.

"She said you were upset"

"Upset? Upset doesn't even begin to cut it!" Meredith snapped "I don't see my father for 21 years and he turns up with a daughter, one of 2 daughters, and if Molly is 23 and she's your youngest then you must have moved on pretty damn quickly, so don't do this, don't pretend you care, I know my mother was horrible to you, god when I found out about her and Richard, it broke me all over again, I was that devastated but I got through it, because my husband was there for me, just like he'll be there for Maddie, no matter what goes on between me and him he will be there for her because she is his _daughter_, so can you please, just leave, go and be with your family so I can be with mine"

"Meredith I…."

"My name is Dr Sloan, and if you don't leave I will"

"I'm sorry" Thatcher said standing and leaving.

~x~

"I thought I'd find you here" Mark said softly as he met Meredith outside the window of the nursery "It's your thinking place, what are you thinking?"

"My father spoke to me" Meredith mumbled as she placed her lips on the top of Maddie's sleeping head.

"Oh? How'd that go?"

"I did a little snapping, with his wife too, they just, they think they can waltz in here and I'll just forgive him, just like that, but I won't Mark, I won't"

"I know you won't babe" Mark said wrapping his arms around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do"

"It's just, if he wanted to be back in my life, he would have looked for me, we met today by chance, what if that chance never came, would he have even bothered?"

"You should stop thinking about it" Mark said kissing her neck "Sometimes it's just best not to know the answers"

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Meredith sighed "What would I do without you?"

"You'll never be without me" Mark whispered.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So I abandoned this fic over a year ago but I'm determined to finish it since I only have this chapter and one more to go before I can hit complete! That chapter will probably be up later today! Read, review, etc. etc.**

* * *

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
Chapter 13_

_~x~_

**2 weeks later.**

"We don't have to do this Mer" Mark murmured as he stood with Meredith and Maddie outside of Thatcher Grey's house "We can still turn back"

"No I, I have to do this" she said quietly "I have too"

"Ok" he said softly, he kissed the top of her head and she reached out to knock on the door, they waited a brief moment before Thatcher opened it.

"Me….Meredith" he said with surprise "Hi"

"I don't trust you, and I'm always going to be mad at you for walking out on me, but you're my father, and that still means something so, if you want to know me, if you want to be in my life, well this is your chance, but it's your last chance"

"Ok" he nodded with a small smile "Would you, would you like to come in? It's just me at home so…."

"Sure" Meredith replied, she adjusted Maddie in her arms and followed him into the house with Mark close behind.

"Would either of you like a coffee, or tea?" Thatcher asked as he gestured for them to sit down.

"No, thank you" Meredith said quietly.

"I'm good" Mark nodded, himself and Meredith sat on the sofa and Thatcher sat in the chair close by "Oh and I'm Mark by the way, Mark Sloan"

"It's nice to meet you Mark" Thatcher said as he shook her hand "And this is, Maddie was it?"

"Yeah, Madeline Keira Sloan, but we call her Maddie" Meredith smiled "She's 4 months old"

"She's beautiful" Thatcher smiled "She looks, so much like you did"

"Yeah" Meredith murmured as she kissed the top of Maddie's head.

"Meredith I, I can never apologize enough for not fighting for you" Thatcher said quietly "And I'm not going to use your mother as an excuse anymore, that isn't fair, me leaving was my decision, I made that mistake, all I can do now is, try and make things better. I'm not expecting anything from you, I don't want you to forgive me, but I do want to know you, that's all I want"

"Can I ask you, some questions?" Meredith asked.

"Anything" Thatcher replied.

"Did you know your wife before you left us?" she asked.

"Yes" he said honestly "She started working at my office 6 months before I left, but no, we were not in any kind of relationship, we were acquaintances"

"And she knew about me…."

"She knew" Thatcher nodded "She, she wanted me to fight for you, but I brushed her off, used your mother as an excuse like I always did, and then when she fell pregnant with Lexie, well we weren't even living together, we didn't even know if we were serious, but by the time Lexie was born we were"

"Your wife, Susan, she said Molly knew about me, what, what exactly does she know? Has, she always known?"

"No" Thatcher said quietly "When Lexie was 14, she found a picture of us, me and you, and your mother, outside the elementary school…."

"In the snow" Meredith finished for him "In front of a big fur tree, and I was wearing, a yellow coat, I, I have that picture"

"Right" Thatcher said with a small smile "She found that picture, and it had your name on the back, with the date, so she asked me who you were, if you were a cousin or, some other kind of relative, I looked at Susan and she just nodded at me, so I told her, I told both of them, and, well they hated me" he said with a slight laugh "They ignored me for a week, after telling me that they couldn't believe I could abandon my daughter, and they didn't want a father, they didn't want a father if you couldn't have one"

"They, they said that?"

"Amongst other things" he nodded "They've always wanted to meet you, always, but I guess, I was scared, now I know that it was stupid of me to be scared when I was the one who put us in this position"

"It wasn't just you" Meredith sighed "I know my mother could be, a handful, believe me I hear things from her now that I never wanted to hear"

"What do you mean?" Thatcher asked.

"Ellis has Alzheimer's" Mark said quietly "She's been in a home for, years now, she's stuck in her residency days a lot of the time"

"That's how I know about her and Richard, she told me when she thought I was god knows who" Meredith sighed.

"I'm, so sorry" Thatcher said gently.

"I'm kind of used to it now" Meredith said with a slight laugh "So what, what I'm saying is, I really do want us to try and get to know each other, because you weren't the only one at fault"

"I would be honoured to know you all Meredith, honoured" Thatcher smiled.

~x~

"Thatcher honey, I'm home" Susan called out as she walked into the house "Oh, hello" she said with surprise as she walked into the living room.

"You remember Meredith dear" Thatcher smiled as he stood up "This is her husband Mark Sloan and their daughter Maddie, isn't she beautiful"

"She is" Susan smiled "I'm so happy you're here, Thatcher did you offer them a drink? Some food?"

"He's been very accommodating" Mark said with a slight laugh.

"I'll go and make you a cup of tea, sit down Susan, and please don't scare them off" Thatcher smirked as he kissed her cheek, she swatted his arm and he went into the kitchen, Susan smiled and sat down in his chair.

"I have to say Meredith, I'm surprised you're here, after we last met I didn't think…"

"Other than me and Mark, Maddie doesn't have many blood relatives who are in her life, as much as I love the friends we have and as much as they are her family, I want her to have, people she can look at and say, I look like them" Meredith said quietly "I know it's stupid"

"It's not stupid dear" Susan smiled softly "And she is definitely a Grey baby, she has the nose"

"She does" Meredith said with a slight laugh "Would you like to, hold her?"

"I would love to hold her" Susan beamed, Meredith stood and carefully placed Maddie in Susan's arms "Hello little one, you are precious, and I can only imagine that my little Laura is going to look just like you in a few months time"

"How is the baby?" Meredith asked "And Molly?"

"Oh they're great" Susan smiled "She really would like to see you again, and Lexie, she's visiting in a few weeks to meet Laura, so if you'd like, you could all join us"

"I wouldn't want to intrude on your family time"

"You wouldn't be intruding" Thatcher smiled as he walked back into the room, putting Susan's tea on the coffee table "I'd love it if you'd all come, to have all of my girls together…"

"If we're not working, we'll be there" Mark said, gently squeezing Meredith's thigh "Won't we Mer?"

"Ok" she nodded "We'll be there"

"Thatcher, why don't you hold your granddaughter" Susan smiled.

"If that's, ok" he said looking to Meredith, Meredith nodded with a smile, Susan stood and Thatcher sat down, taking Maddie into his arms, Susan picked up her tea and sat in the other chair.

"Look at you Maddie" Thatcher smiled gently "You look just like your Mommy did when she was this small, you are a new start for us, do you know that?" he whispered "Welcome to the family Madeline"

~x~ ~x~~x~


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Final chapter! Thanks for all of the reviews and kind words about this fic, I know it's taken me a long long time to get done and this chapter is short and crappy but I hope you've enjoyed it all the same :) Have a couple of other Meredith/Mark fics in the works that I have planned out so hopefully there won't be long waits between chapters! Keep your eye out :P Love Kelly xx**

* * *

_You're Not The Only One With Secrets  
Chapter 14_

_~x~_

**8 months later.**

"I can't believe she's one already" Addison said as she sat with Meredith on the sofa of the Sloan house watching Maddie play with her toys on the floor.

"I know" Meredith breathed "Me either, I feel old"

"How old does that make me?" Addison said with a laugh.

"Really old" Meredith smirked.

"Shut up" Addison said hitting her on the arm "Ooh, he's kicking" she said bringing her hand to her 6 month pregnancy bump.

"Let me feel" Meredith said reaching her hand out "Wow Addie, he's got a strong kick on him"

"I know" Addison mumbled "Y'know, sometimes it's really amazing, but then sometimes when I'm exhausted and want to sleep he just won't stop, it's like he knows it's annoying me"

"He's a Karev" Meredith smirked.

"True" Addison said with a laugh.

"Baba" Maddie said reaching out to Addison, she crawled over to them and pulled herself up so she was standing, Meredith lifted her and sat her on her lap, Maddie reached out and put her hands on Addison's bump "Baba" she giggled.

"That's right sweetie, there's a baby in there" Addison smiled "Did you feel that Maddie?" she said with a laugh as Maddie's eyes widened, feeling a kick under her hand.

"Baba" Maddie laughed "Mama baba?" she said looking to Meredith's stomach.

"No honey, not me" Meredith laughed, kissing the top of her head "You are my baby, my little princess" she said tickling her a little, Maddie giggled and squirmed in her arms, she climbed back down to the floor and started playing again.

"Do you think you and Mark will ever have another?" Addison asked "You're a great Mom y'know"

"Thanks" Meredith smiled "I don't know if we'll have another, we've never really talked about it, but I guess it'd be nice for Maddie to have a little brother or sister"

"Well we can use this one as a test for her" Addison laughed, rubbing her bump gently.

"We bring cake ingredients" Alex announced as he walked into the house holding a cake box, Mark walking in behind him with grocery bags, he moved to the sofa and kissed Addison gently.

"Hey" Meredith smiled as she stood and kissed Mark, following him into the kitchen "Did you get everything?"

"Yeah, all the things on Izzie's very precise list" he smirked "She'll be here in 10 minutes to start the cake"

"Good" Meredith smiled "Thatcher and Susan should be here soon"

"And then we can get this party started" Mark grinned, Meredith rolled her eyes "Our baby's one Mer"

"I know" she sighed "It's insane"

"It's amazing" he whispered, kissing her gently.

~x~

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, come on in" Addison smiled as she opened the front door to Meredith's house.

"We've told you before dear, it's Thatcher and Susan" Susan smiled "And look at you, you look glowing, how far along are you now?"

"6 months, a boy" Addison smiled, rubbing her hand over her stomach.

"A boy" Susan smiled softly "Well, we certainly need one of those around"

"I guess we do huh?" Addison said with a laugh "Come on through" she led them through to the living room and Maddie instantly let out a squeal, reaching up to Thatcher.

"Papa!" she laughed.

"Hi Maddie girl" he smiled, scooping her up and kissing her face gently "Happy Birthday"

"Happy Birthday sweetheart" Susan cooed "I have presents for you"

"Presents, I think you brought the whole store with you" Mark laughed as he kissed her cheek, taking the gift bags Susan passed to him.

"So I got a little carried away" she said sheepishly "She's my granddaughter Mark I couldn't help it"

"Thank you Susan" he laughed softly "Meredith's in the kitchen with Izzie, they decorating the cake or something"

"Ok dear" she smiled, she kissed his cheek and walked into the kitchen.

"Susan, hey" Meredith smiled "Look, look I helped decorate a cake and didn't destroy it" she said turning the cake around so Susan could see the lettering on the top "I think my surgical dexterity helps"

"It looks wonderful dear, now is there anything I can do?" Susan asked.

"No, we're almost finished up here" Izzie smiled.

"Meredith, I can't get this stupid dining table to stay up" Alex said loudly from the next room, Meredith rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Duty calls" she smirked before leaving.

~x~

"Addison asked me something today" Meredith said quietly as she lay with her head on Mark's chest.

"Yeah? What?"

"She asked if we'd ever have another baby"

"What did you say?"

"I said I didn't know" she shrugged "That we hadn't talked about it"

"Well, do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked.

"Yeah" she whispered, he lifted her up a little so they could look at each other "I know I technically have sisters now, and you grew up with the Shepherds but, I think it would be nice for Maddie to not grow up as an only child and even if we started trying now it could take a couple of months for me to get pregnant and even if I got pregnant right away she'd be almost 2 when the baby was born and..."

Mark cut her off with a kiss "Babe" he laughed softly "Do you want to throw your pills away or should I?"

Meredith laughed and let him kiss her again.

_The End._


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